Barri's Blog

Cyber Dilemma

2011-10-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

A former education student of mine just emailed and asked me, “What do I do if one of my students is being bullied online? Should I say something to someone? How can I possibly do anything to help?”

I thought about it hard and realized that we all have a voice, and I preach using it. As a teacher, I call it a “teachable moment.” As a human being, I cry out any time I see it, hear it, feel it. But as an author, in the final stretch of my PhD, I’ve left that hat sitting on a table. I should don it every chance I get, if it means putting even the slightest dent in a growing trend that is beyond disturbing. Children taunting children until they commit suicide. The bullied become the bullies, and the cycle is growing into an epidemic.

Today, I realize that what is wrong in this cyber bullying trend, something captured powerfully in the “Harry’s Law” episode Queen of Snark, is so deep-seated, I’m not sure we can fix it. But we have to try. The symptoms are on TV and the internet every day. But the catalysts aren’t the children doing the bullying, though we can’t condone what they do, but the real culprits sit in studios behind a microphone. The Huffington Post and the like, Nancy Grace and those who use the first amendment to empower their attacks, and every blog that centers on caring more about what goes on in other people’s lives than their own. Because with scrutiny comes judgment, and with judgment comes persecution. When did we allow the shift to this current age of magnifying glass distortion? A friend once told me to get out my mirror before taking out my magnifying glass – and as a society, we’ve long since ditched the mirror.

Why do we care what the Huffington Post says? When did we become permanent lookie-lous? What has happened to us that we care so much about the blood and the yellow? Why do we not only condone judging others but take part in it?

We can’t blame our children for doing what they watch us do everyday and what they see on TV. The downward spiral is dangerous, and if we don’t do something about it – even one person at a time – it will never go away.

Our children are committing suicide because of what others are saying about them. This issue has two sides: let’s stop the bullies, but let’s also start the conversation. Talk to your kids. Help them find the strength to ignore the ignorant and to put the media’s role in perspective. Find out what is going on and what they read and do online. Open your ears and your eyes, because if you don’t, the only voice they’re hearing may be the one taunting them.

For more information, check out http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying

Today

2011-05-02T09:43:00.001-07:00

I cheer the fall of the instigator and orchestrator of September 11th. I mourn the past few weeks as we recognize the 12th anniversary of the Columbine disaster and watch fellow Americans lose their homes to tornadoes and storms. I struggle to understand the chasm that is growing in the country between the left and right, when the majority of us falls somewhere closer to the middle. And yes, I worry that the Hopis, Aztecs, Mayans, Chinese philosophers and Nostradamus have some insight into the winter solstice next December…

But in the grand scheme of life, I focus on today, on a mother who fights to remember what she had for breakfast, the smartest person I know struggling to get her to brain to cooperate. I strive to inspire her to fight…to beat the disease we can’t see, that robs her of so much of her freedom.

The world is full of turmoil, from losing a house to a fire to so many who struggle to recover from an economic downfall. But nothing any of us can lose, short of a life, can compare to knowing you’re losing your mind. What we use as a cliché looms real for so many. And it looms on the horizon for so many entering middle age. If you could, would you choose cancer over Alzheimer’s? Even death first? Many would…

The idea of losing who we are can’t compare to anything else…I want to crawl into my mom’s brain and jumpstart it, to fill in the blank spaces that are growing like ink stains on a paper towel. And deep down, selfishly, I fear the day she looks at me and has that brief instant of not-knowing….and the brief moments giving way to more.

So yes, I’m thrilled we’ve destroyed the monster who shattered our lives nearly a decade ago. But today, I will cheer when I walk in to visit my mom and marvel at her smile, at the moment when I know she loves me…and remembers me.

Sometimes today is enough.

After the Fire

2010-11-15T14:17:00.000-08:00

Few things surprise me anymore. Fewer things humble me, stop me in my tracks and remind me I’m human, I’m fallible, and above all else, I’m one tiny cog in the mechanism of life.

Today, sitting in a rental house, contemplating the months before I’m able to return to my house, a home that will be vastly different, new, absent of the marks fifteen years of life once put on it, I’ve learned a lot. People who love you don’t see the things; people who care about you sift through ashes, the insulation-covered belongings, and roll up their sleeves to put it all back together. And people you see only occasionally step up and remind you that when you give, it comes back to you. I’ve always been quick to donate to those who’ve suffered loss, who go through trying times, to cook a meal for those who need it. Now, after the fire, to have so many people come help us at the house, others who’ve taught for us, who’ve rallied behind us, who’ve offered a thought, a prayer, a heartfelt ‘we’re there for you if you need us,’ renews my strength to overcome this. My house burned down but I didn’t lose my home. My home is with friends, with colleagues, with all the warm messages on Facebook, by email, and phone. I may not have as much as I did before Nov. 4th, but in many ways, I have so much more, and for that, I’m incredibly grateful…

Bullying – A Problem Screaming To Be Stopped

2010-11-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

When I wrote my young adult novel Dregs, I’d witnessed a lot of bullying in my school and in my classroom. Some of it blatant, but much more of it subtle, part of an invisible hierarchy. School violence stormed into our world as a full-blown epidemic in the mid-90s. We were horrified. We were disgusted. We were to blame – no other nation has our issues with bullying, with cliques, with the kind of violence seen on the front page of every paper nearly every day. And now, all of that has changed with the internet. Bullying has morphed; it’s virtual, transported through cyberspace. But it still hurts, and for some, it has a lasting, stinging effect. Sometimes permanent. Being a teenager or young adult is hard, and the light at the end of the tunnel is sometimes too hard to see. Tyler Clementi couldn’t see it. Phoebe Prince couldn’t see it. Alexis Pilkington couldn’t see it. Even with the rallying cries of Ellen, their suicides make us question the system, the neighborhoods that perpetuate it, the sports fields that promote it, the schools that can’t or don’t stop it, the internet that hasn’t figured out how to control the cruelty created there.

But it starts so much sooner – the judgmental entitlement, the superiority mentality. A perfect example is a blog in the Advocate. Parents instill their best values in their children. And their worst. The problem is, these belief systems are so deeply entrenched, many of the parents don’t understand what they’re doing. Don’t play with the child of gay parents. Stay away from that Muslim kid. No, you can’t go to the mall with that girl with all the piercings. Hate begats hate. Prejudice starts young, before they have a chance to develop beliefs of their own. So when kids start taunting kids, parents’ mindsets are screaming accompaniment. The worry is, can we silence them, any of them?

Presidential Support...

2010-09-22T14:17:00.000-07:00

A Trib Talk person ranted in our Columbia Tribune that he refused to acknowledge Barack Obama as our president because he couldn’t confirm that Obama wasn’t Muslim or that he’d converted to Christianity…I find myself scratching my head. Fear mongering is not new in America. When John F. Kennedy was elected, anti-Catholicism reared its ugly head all across the country. So here we are again. I don’t know whether President Obama is a Christian or not. But if he’s not, should it matter? We’ve had adulterers for presidents (many of them, as a matter of fact), we’ve had openly racist presidents, ignorant presidents, and we’ve had more than our fair share of elitist, richer-than-God presidents. How many of our past presidents represent me, for who I am, how I live, and what religion I practice? Not very many. I’m a middle-class woman, and to date, there’s not been a female president, so should I say, “Ah, hell no, I’m tired of all these rich, power-hungry men making decisions for me…I’m not going to acknowledge my president until we elect a woman!”

It sounds absurd because it is absurd. No matter who my president is, I back him. Peanut farmers, rich men, Catholics, Baptists, Atheists (and we’ve had several)…white, black, cat lovers, adulterers, liars (and wouldn’t that constitute most of them?)… No matter their flaws, they’re still our president, the president of the most amazing country in the world. So people who denounce Obama and say, “He’s not my president,” I find myself wanting to tell them to go find a country that has a leader satisfactory enough for them. Except I know that fear-mongering is about ignorance and intolerance, and I find it most disturbing that God-loving, God fearing people are often the most judgmental. Those are the people who should take out their mirrors before they get out their magnifying glasses.

I wonder what those people would’ve done had they known all the other indiscretions of past presidents. Thomas Jefferson, for starters… Then again, at least he was a Christian, right? But can we prove it?

Cop-Out Defenses

2010-07-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

German Poet Christian Friedrich Hebbel coined it best when he said, "Whoever wants to be a judge of human nature should study people's excuses." Those have reached bizarre heights in the courtroom. The most ludicrous could very well be the Twinkie defense. It helped Dan White get an involuntary manslaughter verdict instead of first degree murder for killing San Francisco mayor George Moscone and the openly gay Supervisor Harvey Milk (who had been friends with White). But now that list of excuses is laughable: Adopted Child Syndrome, Road Rage, ’Roid Rage, Black Rage, Computer Addiction, even the Everybody Does It Syndrome. Criminals are no longer responsible for anything they do – there is always an addiction or affliction that excuses it.

Is this a by-product of our society, of newer generations who’ve figured out how to plea their case? Or is this human nature, the natural need to hide behind some disorder or syndrome that could dispel responsibility? Even when being caught with a hand in the proverbial cookie jar, attorneys would just claim a Cookie Defense or The Cookie Monster Made Me Do It Syndrome. Where will the line be drawn? At what point will the justice system say enough?

Probably never… And why should they? It’s become a thread of humor that’s central to our nation’s entertainment. Because in America, our trials show up in the entertainment column as often as in political mags. We’re no longer about “Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be free”…the saying should be adapted: “Give us your fallen stars, your adulterers, your limelight mongering masses longing to be on the front page…”

But then again, O.J. didn’t like his front page phase in the 90s, even with his Super Jock Syndrome defense. Personally, I’m vying for the Sybil Syndrome – I’ll let the other me stand trial…if they ever catch me.

Show Some Respect

2010-05-26T11:21:00.001-07:00

I have quite a few metaphorical hats I put on every day… Wife, writer, mom to my puppies, teacher, student, feminist, Cards fan (that one depends on the season), but one of the first I don each day is “American.” I’m proud of where I live, of my culture, of what it really means to be an American. I support my country no matter who’s in office (I don’t jump off that bandwagon even whether I voted for him or not), but I also wholeheartedly support my first amendment rights and was infuriated when people sent the Dixie Chicks hate mail over what Natalie said. Death threats? You’re preaching being a good person and being patriotic by sending death threats? Really?

I believe people should hover more toward the middle on all topics; it’s hard to maintain harmony with so many extremist attitudes. That being said, there’s a situation in the Sonoran Desert in Arizona that should rile Democrats and Republicans alike. It’s an American issue. The pictures speak for themselves, but the message they’re sending is clear: we want to come to your land for its benefits, but we’re not honoring her in our quest for freedom.

I’m empathetic to the plight that drives people to the U.S. I’m also aware that we don’t make it easy to become an American anymore. We no longer embody the Ellis Island mantra: "Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be free..." However, if you want to come to America, to truly BE an American, you must first possess the respect to treat her with dignity. This is the only planet we have, and this biohazard in the Sonoran Desert is yet another obstacle we must face in order to prevent our own demise.

We, as a human race, are short-sighted, self-serving, and ignorant, and it’s ultimately going to be the death of us.

Step Forward

2010-04-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

The anniversary of the Columbine tragedy reminded me how far we’ve come in education and in life. School violence hasn’t been a focus in the media; instead, it’s been Tiger, Big Ben, and other role models who’ve lost their way. But today…today was denim day. If you’re not familiar with it, you should be.

In the 1990s, a woman in Italy went out with a driving instructor and by the end of the day, he raped her by the side of the road. She was vindicated when he was convicted of the rape. But in 1999, the Italian High Court overturned the conviction, stating that the woman was in tight jeans, so there was no way the man was able to get them off by himself. In other words, she had to have helped him, and therefore been a willing participant. Have these people ever worn jeans? Women of the Italian Legislature protested the decision by wearing jeans to work, and as news of their decision spread around the country, so did the protest. So universities, colleges, junior high and high schools, and various other organizations around the world selected to join the campaign to step forward and take a stand against rape and sexual violence against all people, not just women. So April 22nd is now Denim Day, and hopefully you’ll step forward next year! If we don’t speak up for ourselves and others, there’s no point in having a voice.

Baggy Pants Begone

2010-04-07T13:25:00.000-07:00

I find it so interesting that guys are still wearing baggy pants they have to hold on to. Did “Pants on the Ground” not show them how ridiculous this fashion is? Not to mention, it proved to me that guys absolutely dress for other guys, not for girls. How many girls see a boy with his jeans belted below his butt, having to hold onto them as he walks, and thinks, “Oooh, hot boxers.” Gone are the days of these guys having their butts admired by girls. Not to mention, there is nothing appealing about watching a guy walk bowlegged, holding his crotch or waist, to keep his jeans from falling. I mean really, guys, this isn’t a fashion girls like, so why are you dressing to fit in or please other guys? We girls have done that for years, dressing for other girls, whether competitively or for the sheer appreciation factor, but it doesn’t work for guys when that fashion doesn’t flatter you in any way. Will this fad ever end?

Of the People, For the People, Buy the People…

2010-03-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

I saw a video today about toxins, poisons even, in imported seafood. It’s in a huge percentage of all seafood in your local grocery store. Worse, less than 1% of all foreign seafood , especially fish, get tested, and Far East countries knowingly send us tainted food. They even raise some of their fish in sewage, in packed channels that allow them to charge less than local, U.S. fish farmers. We’re all about cheap, about saving money, but at what expense? I own a Toyota, but a percentage of Toyotas are built in Detroit (you can check your VIN number to determine where your car was built)…that’s where mine was built. I’m an American snob. I buy American when I can: food, products, services. Do you?

If you don’t, you should. Our country is outsourcing at an alarming rate. Eventually, we will have outsourced ourselves to death – the death of American commerce, of American farmers, of American productivity. We are doing it to ourselves. From toys made in China, jobs from cheap labor overseas, to clothes sewn in India; so much of what we buy isn’t made in America (check labels next time you’re shopping at Wal-Mart). One perfect example is that we buy gas at Citgo, whose corporate office is in Texas, but the true “owner” is the Petróleos de Venezuela. They have been outspoken against the U.S. government, resulting in 7-Eleven terminating a contract with them. At one point, the Venezuelan president even stated on his TV show, “Enough of imperialist aggression; we must tell the world: down with the U.S. empire. We have to bury imperialism this century.” And we help Chavez fulfill his dream by buying Citgo gas. As soon as he became president in 1998, he created immediate ties with Cuba and Fidel Castro, and has openly denounced the American way. So what the heck is wrong with us? We buy gas from a company that denounces our country, our way of life?

The best advice we can take to improving U.S. economy is to truly buy American. Ask your grocer where the shrimp was raised, where the fish came from, read your labels on everything. If you aren’t inspired yet, watch the video. We really can make a difference. YOU can make a difference…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0F8x4i5GYE&feature=related

I Read the News Today...

2010-02-07T18:40:00.000-08:00

I stumbled across a news story today, while reading about the highlighted events of the week. A freshman in a middle school in Alabama shot a classmate in the back of the head and killed him. A middle schooler. The news report stated that it was an isolated incident, inferring that there was just no need to worry. There were no breaking news reports on CNN, no interrupting stories on network news, and no continual, round-the-clock coverage on MSNBC. While Marilyn Manson once reported of Columbine coverage, “You should’ve seen the ratings that day…” it’s become evident that in America, one 9th grader killing a classmate shouldn’t disturb us.

But I am disturbed. As a teacher, it haunts me. As a human being, it terrifies me, and as an American, it shames me. No matter what this young man was thinking, this isn’t just a parental problem. It’s not a trend that could/should panic teachers nationwide. There’s nothing education systems can do to prevent random acts of violence (though I do believe bullying can be stopped, and thus a large percentage of hardcore retaliatory acts of violence).This is not an issue a Democratic or a Republican government can set straight for future students, schools, and administrations. This is a societal issue that epitomizes what we’re all about – violence, immediacy, revenge. The fact that a child has killed another child in a public school and that isn’t headline news says so much about us as a country, as a people, as human beings.

In the wake of mudslides in California, hundreds of thousands dead in one of the worst earthquakes in history, snow storms referred to as snowmageddon, and ice caps melting at an alarming rate in the Arctic, it sort of makes you wonder what God is trying to tell us…. And are we listening?

Stepping In

2010-01-12T12:07:00.000-08:00

Hey, it’s Benson here, stepping in for Barri…Remember me? The dreg? Well, I was, but now, I'm sorta not.

NEway, God, what a lame ass holiday Barri’s had. Hysterectomy, infection, emergency 2nd surgery… It sucks, but she’s also fallen off the grid. Percocet fog, she calls it. Lazy, I say. Try being a freshman juggling soccer, geometry, physics, peer pressure, Tim Silvey’s daily put-downs, a coach’s unspoken comparison to a perfect brother’s memory, hovering under that God-like brother’s eternal shadow, parental ghosts, ex-girlfriends you want in the current category, and the wrath of the Barbie Brigade and all their worshippers. That doesn’t even include coming up with the perfect project for Publications or writing a column for the paper this week… I think I have what big-time writers call The Block. But no biggie. I’m considering exposing Silvey. Him and his dweebs are all caught up in a new scam – he’s figured out that skimming bottom feeders’ Ritalin is big business. Did you know that the elite take Ritalin to focus and speed up so they can study for tests and SATs? How dumb is that? Teenagers will pop almost anything in their mouths, and for what? A better college? An A on a paper? Yep, life as a teenager these days is a piece o’ cake…who wouldn’t want to do it?

Well, I’ve gotta get ready for practice… Big game Friday. Maybe Mallorie will be there. You can bet Silvey will be – ready to wheel and deal his magic pills. I wonder if they can make your parents wake up and notice you? Or the fact that all this crap might just be as hard for you as it is for them?

Westwood’s motto might be that we all fly with the same wings, but I can tell you from first-hand experience that not everybody takes off from the same point. And not everybody has somewhere to go…

Renewed Faith in Humanity

2009-11-07T09:08:00.000-08:00

Last week, after learning about the gang rape at Richmond High School, the very same school the movie Coach Carter is based on, I wondered if we had sunk too low to be saved. The idea that people watched this poor girl get gang raped for two hours while not one of them called 911 makes them just as culpable as those who committed this heinous crime. Granted, they didn't commit the rapes, but as proven in the true case behind the movie The Accused, people who fall prey to the Bystander Effect are just as responsible. Witnesses walked by, watched for a few minutes, and then would leave. Even if terrified that the rapists would turn on them, I'm sure every one of them had a cell phone that has a 9 and a 1 on it, and how hard would it have been to dial anonymously? But not one person did. I'm disgusted to be a human being when I hear about tragedies like this. Those people will have to live with themselves for the rest of their lives, and I hope it haunts them every moment of every day.

Even with that having just happened, I have renewed faith. I left nearly $500 worth of jewelry in a Brighton tin in a restroom at Wilson's Fitness Center the other day. I was changing to work out, and I simply forgot to put it in my bag. The tin got left on the back of a toilet. When I realized what had happened (at midnight, mind you), I frantically called. The late night worker didn't know, but he insisted I call the manager the next morning. When I did, she informed me that the tin was safe and sound in her desk, and I could pick it up any time. Wow. Whoever picked it up, and I wish I knew who it was, you have renewed my faith that not everyone is like those at Richmond High School who saw and did nothing. Good people still walk among us and remind me that there's still hope.

If only we could send everyone else to Siberia.

Everything Matters

2009-10-20T21:03:00.000-07:00

I spent the day with my mom going through a neuro series to determine what her memory issues officially are. It confirms what I've always believed: everything matters.

Tell those close to you that you love them...every day.
Tell people you work with how much you appreciate them...every chance you get.
Hold a hand out for a stranger, open the door for someone who needs it, and pay it forward in all ways possible. Choose your words wisely, because people will never forget them: if they're inspiring, then what an impact you'll have.

The best adage to embrace is one I learned in Hawaii two summers ago: live well, love much, laugh often. And believe Maya Angelou when she said that people will forget what you said and what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

Don't wait to do these things. Someone may need it today more than ever.

Mixing Politics and School...

2009-09-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

So I've been mired in a new school year of teaching classes, the last of my PhD courses, and just life in general. But an issue is burning for me...so I'm resurrecting my blog from the brink of obscurity.

So the issue begins... Regardless of which side of the political spectrum you lean toward (and don't many of us actually hover somewhere in that middle space now known as No-Man's Land?), we still live in America. But something a local radio host said in Columbia last week bothered me immensely. (It was either in the newspaper or a magazine, I don't remember, but my MU students were bothered enough to bring it up in class.)

It started when our current President chose to speak to school children, just as a few Republican presidents have done in recent terms. This was not a new innovation on the President's part. However, THIS time, it caused a ruckus in Columbia, and this man (let's call him Barney for ease of identification) said something to the effect of, "That would be a good day for your kids to skip school."

So much for all the rest of the work your child would be doing the other seven and a half hours that day...

If George Bush had still been President, and this statement had been made by a Democrat, he'd be considered anti-American. But with the tables turned, this community leader, er, Barney, just taught his children that it's okay to disrespect this country, his school, his teachers, and his peers. No matter whether I like Obama or Bush or McCain or Palin, once one of them wins, he or she is MY President. And if highly conservative people -- and radically liberal people as well -- can't put aside their differences and embrace every President as their own, then the schism between the parties and this country will continue to grow. Children watch their parents and want them to be role models. Being judgmental, hypocritical, and blatantly disrespectful of the greatest office in the greatest country on the planet sends a horrible message to not only Barney's children, but those who might not understand the political stance and see it simply as a show of disrespect. There are disenfranchised teenagers out there listening, thinking, "Well, hey, if Barney says I don't gotta go to school, then I ain't goin'."

Really, Barney, that's the message you want sent to this community? To your children and every other child who hears it? I'm left wondering, when a President is elected you DO endorse, how will you explain the difference to your children?

Teacher Book Arrives!

2009-08-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

I just received the new book My First Year in the Classroom, with a story I wrote in it! I'm excited! You can check it out on Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/First-Year-Classroom-Celebrate-Unforgettable/dp/1605506540/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1249243851&sr=1-10

Many teachers contributed, and it's got some great insight in it for new and veteran teachers! Since it's a compilation like this, it was a one-time payment to contributors, so if you'd like a copy, please email me at barribum@aol.com and request an autographed copy! It's fun to have a new and different book out!! :-)

Summer Chaos

2009-07-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

I've been immersed in the Missouri Writing Project Advanced Institute this summer, and while it's sad to be so busy you don't blog or write about your experiences until after the fact, it's rejuvenating to feel the breath release knowing there's still weeks until school starts with endless days to create.

To surround myself with writers is like a buoy for me. It lifts me, allows me to tread and gawk at those around me with the gift to leave me in awe. These two weeks at the MWP have done that. Amazing writing generates amazing emotions. And on the tail of those, the words that flow can't be slowed or squelched, even if they're rambling. The stream of consciousness that often comes is so refreshing, and then the channeled writing can come.

This is my rambling. Saturday I'll buckle down to work on my new Danna Scanlon book, and all the energy can help her solve her next case. And it's gonna be a doozy...

New Project

2009-06-02T08:09:00.001-07:00

Now that I tweet on Twitter and put updates on Facebook, I'm not nearly as good about blogging... (my publicist has found the coolest application that allows me to do all those sites through one place...)

But I've started a project that's worthy of a blog... Karen Althage, a breast cancer survivor, approached me about writing her story. She's amazing, and she's given me the motivation to write about something important, and something that ALL of us need to support. After several months of interviewing her, I participated in a "breast casting" event on Sunday that is exactly what it sounds like; women from Columbia came together to have their breasts immortalized in plaster of paris, and then artists from around the area will paint them. The final products will be sold at an art show in October. Many of the women have been touched by breast cancer in some way, and some were even breast cancer survivors themselves. It was amazing, and it puts life in perspective to see women embrace their lives, their futures when faced with such a challenge. It puts the pettiness of other things out on a limb and reminds us to focus on the tree, on the trunk, and those closest to us.

Karen and some other women are founders of the Vincent P. Gurucharri Foundation, complete with Karen doing a video for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and helping organize a fundraiser that had Carl Edwards giving away NASCAR memorabilia and signing autographs. I'm honored to now be part of something so significant and hope this book raises awareness that even though 1 in 7 women will get breast cancer, 88% will survive it...

Those Who Judge…

2009-05-04T19:28:00.000-07:00

Hatred, I’ve learned, can come in pretty packages... And often it’s cloaked in ways that make it more than pretty, angelic even. It’s scary how many people have some elemental quality they hate in another human being, and that person or that quality often never intersect in any way. So where does the hatred come from? Psychologists would say it’s an innate fear of being the hated, but perhaps it’s a deeper chasm forming in our country.

I find it disturbing how divisive we’ve become. Our nation has gone extreme, on both sides, and that leaves most of us who hover in the middle left to wonder…why are we all so quick to judge, to hate, to try so hard to tell others how they should live? We knock anyone who doesn’t worship our God; we spit on anyone who loves a person we’re disgusted with; we feel compelled to judge to the point of hatred. And I use the pronoun loosely. I’m not an atheist, nor agnostic. I was saved and baptized when I was in junior high, but I subscribe first to the adage, “Take out your mirror before getting out the magnifying glass.” I believe that’s what God wants – for us to live a good life, to be good people, to be a good example for all those watching us. What message do we send kids when we pass judgment on others? No matter another person’s crime, no matter their indiscretions, their beliefs, their sins, it’s not for us to say. I cringe when I hear an outspoken Bush-hater, even more when I listen to a blind Bush-worshipper. We are no longer allowed to have our own unspoken beliefs, no longer left alone if we announce an allegiance to one side or the other. Instead, both sides insist on converting us, saving us from ourselves, even if we don’t want or need saving.

Just once I’d like to be able to say, “I voted for…” or “I think everyone should be allowed to marry…” or “The war in Iraq is…” without getting an earful of hatred from someone on the opposing side. As we’ve become so obsessed with being PC, we’ve also gotten too opinionated to carry on a real conversation about a heated issue. If we want our kids to form opinions of their own, how can we show them that if none of us ever really listens? How do we teach tolerance when a huge majority don’t practice it?

How will we change narrow-minded views if only the open-minded are paying attention? If we’re only preaching to the choir, then does that mean the choir doesn’t have a mind of their own?

To anyone out there who truly cringes at the thought of their child marrying someone of a different race, the same sex, or a card-carrying member of a different religion, why do you think you feel that way? Just once, stop and think about it, take a look at yourself, and ask, Why do I judge someone who has nothing against me?

We should all subscribe to the adage, “Take out your mirror before getting out the magnifying glass.” It would be a great place to live if we really judged not.

Spring Is Sustaining...

2009-04-16T13:13:00.001-07:00

It has been a weird winter and an even stranger spring. But it's been interesting these past few weeks.

The Missouri Writers Guild conference was amazing... I got to meet Lee Goldberg, the writer of Monk (the series and the books, and he made fun of Missouri with no mercy!!), and some phenomenal editors, agents, and fellow writers (Kate Angelella, Annette Fix, Harvey Stanbrough, to name a few...) I have some amazing photos I need to add to my website, so keep posted there...

The Mizzou Tigers kicked some butt, only inches from the Final Four, and now Cardinal baseball is heating up (poor Chris Carpenter...but I think we're going to survive without him).

But the best part of this time of year is another Mizzou semester winding down. I'm nearing the end of my PhD coursework. Just two more semesters! So my life as an author can resume for the summer, thank God, and for those of you who loved Dregs, I'm working on a sequel. I'll also be facilitating the Missouri Writing Project, which is an amazing opportunity for teachers who love to write and want to incorporate it in their classrooms!

So happy spring to everyone and keep your fingers crossed that the warm weather is finally here to stay!

Team Angels

2009-03-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

Having once been a college athlete – and only tackling sports I could not only master but be the best at – I’ve discovered something about skiing. I suck. Actually, that’s not quite right. My ski instructor, Priscilla, said I had all the techniques down, but I sucked at the confidence go-for-it part. I’ve bungeed, rappelled down steep cliffs, and done the Dragon’s Wing at Six Flags – but put my feet on two skinny strips of wood, and all my daring goes flying off the lift. Your feet aren’t supposed to move when you don’t want them to, right? Well, I certainly think so, because when I felt out of control, I panicked! J And I had to look hysterical.

So for any of you who saw me out there sprawled in the snow, I really was there to practice my snow angels, and I have to say, I had those down pat! Do they have a team for that?

It's a Great Time To Be Alive...

2009-03-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

It was an awesome weekend to be a sports fan in my house… my nephew, Luke, played for the 5A state basketball championship and kicked some roundball butt. I hated that it was at the expense of Rock Bridge High School, but Chaminade, where Luke goes is a sophomore starter, displayed resilience in their quest to win the state championship. With a shaky performance against Rock Bridge, Chaminade came back in full, true-force form against Grandview and won it all.

And hand-in-hand with the Red Devils of Chaminade, the Mizzou Tigers won their first ever Big XII title… Several times the Big Eight champs, Mizzou overpowered everyone to finish the season as #9 in the nation, a #3 seed in the NCAA tourney, and hopefully, a chance to surpass their finest Elite 8 finish in the Big Dance.

With Cardinal’s baseball right around the corner, March Madness in full swing, the NFL draft only a month away, I’ve gotta tell you, it is a great time to be alive.

:-)

Shelby Knox…You go, girl!

2009-03-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

I just watched an amazing documentary (in lieu of being able to attend the True/False Film Festival in Columbia this past weekend). The Education of Shelby Knox delves into a dilemma that both astounds and disgusts me. Shelby Knox, at the time a high school student, challenges her ultra conservative hometown of Lubbock, Texas, to teach sex ed. in the public school. The resistance rivals stone walls of historical proportion (the Wall of China comes to mind!)

Shelby, they discover, is an oxymoron. She is first and foremost a devout Christian. BUT (capital letters intended) she is also a liberal. It begs the question, when did the term liberal become a dirty word? My mother, a pretty conservative Republican, still sees liberal as akin to open-mindedness, while a staunch conservative friend sees the “L” word as radical and extreme.

My digressions aside, uber conservative Lubbock Public Schools teaches abstinence only in their district – period. If a teacher even attempts to offer any advice diverging from that philosophy is subject to termination, and there are situations that support this, and Shelby Knox wanted to change that. But the school board and the community slammed the door in her face, stating that to educate kids about sex would be to condone it and teach it to those naïve enough to know little about it. Yeah, right. The irony is, Lubbock has THE highest teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease rates in the nation. One in 14 girls get pregnant each year… gonorrhea rates are TWICE the national average. What does that say about a conservative view of sex education in our schools? I know as a teacher, I can’t understand the ostrich mentality. Why wouldn’t you want to educate kids? To know the consequences on all levels (physically, mentally, and especially financially), might open just one of those 1 in 14 girls’ eyes…

I just don’t get it…

My Celine Moment...

2009-02-07T10:59:00.000-08:00

I’ve never been a huge Celine Dion fan. I’ve always appreciated her amazing voice, have loved specific songs like “Because You Loved Me” and her new “Taking Chances” (it might be one of the prettiest songs I’ve ever heard). But all in all, I would get tired of her, couldn’t listen to just her, so I’d throw her songs into mixes with other artists to really enjoy her.

That has changed. I saw her in concert Wednesday at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis…wow. She was beyond amazing, and if you’ve never seen someone who truly performs, she would be the perfect one to see. Cher does that – performs and doesn’t just sing. But Celine, with her sincerity and fun personality, made the thousands of people in Scottrade feel like her friends. And that voice…my god, her range is nothing short of phenomenal, and I truly understand that she is the Barbra Streisand of our era.

Few concerts leave me feeling like I’ve fulfilled some missing component of my life (Paul McCartney, Tina Turner, Bob Seger, Melissa Etheridge, and Don Henley would be the other 5…). But even among those greats, I’d have to say Celine hovers near the top of the list. I seldom see a group or singer more than once, but if she’s back in Missouri again, she is a definite “must see” for me.

Super Sunday

2009-02-03T14:37:00.001-08:00

I marvel at how much hype can go into a single sporting event, but then again, I’m guilty of feeding the fanaticism. I wanted Kurt to prove the naysayers wrong, but at least it was a great game…

In the midst of watching the pre-game festivities, I caught a glimpse of news tidbits that both disgusted and disillusioned me. My social conscience is easily ired, but the gamut of weekend events startled even me. A homeless man left on the street in D.C. to die while people waltzed to and fro to a grocery store…Michael Phelps caught inhaling. To think that one shopper loaded groceries while Jose Sanchez lay inches away, dying, should raise a never level of disgust in all of us. And yet, the AOL polls admit that most people would’ve done the same thing, most probably wouldn’t have even noticed poor Jose lying there. What have we been reduced to? Because he was homeless, we’re somehow justified in accepting the beating death of this man? I shudder to think what drove him to the streets in the first place, but in the realm of human existence, should it matter?

And then there’s our American hero, Michael Phelps, caught hitting a bong. The gasp from the crowd, the collective jaw dropping, the judgment passing without a conscious forethought. This man captivated the world in a way few ever have. But the media feels compelled to dethrone our heroes, to expose their flaws, and give them their imperfect fifteen minutes. Will it ever stop? Our fear-mongering, idol-crushing, negativity-thriving paparazzi on a quest for all things ratings-worthy?

I wonder. But as long as we hit those websites, watch slanderous news shows, and read the National Enquirer’s of the world, it won’t stop. And neither will they. It’s a vicious cycle and takes one of us at a time to break it. But as much as I want to claim I’m doing my part, here I am admonishing them, after having listened and read and believed.

All I know is that Michael Phelps is a young man who’s not gotten to be a kid for a long time. It takes great sacrifice to achieve greatness, and for many people, that puts a huge target on him to be perfect. If only all of us could be tagged the same…

Warhol's Legacy...

2009-01-29T13:20:00.001-08:00

Another politician has been caught in the disgrace spotlight, this time Oregon mayor Sam Adams. To make it even more scandalous, he is the first openly gay mayor there elected, and his transgression has been that he asked a teenager to lie about their affair (he was significantly older)…

So the gasps of those I’ve heard discuss this make me wonder: Is it because he’s gay? Because of the age difference? Or because we hold politicians under a microscope and expect them to live by a different standard? If the last one, then boy, do we have a lot to learn. I’m currently taking a Media Ethics class, so our discussion of this made me want to probe the opinions and thoughts of friends, fans, and all those on the periphery.

Because, quite honestly, my response? Who cares. We spend so much time speculating about Brangelina’s kids, Britney’s body, and Amy Winehouse’s rehab details that we seem to have misplaced our mirrors. Could you stand up to the scrutiny of mega stardom? Probably not…and if you could, then you should run for something, anything, so there would be a spotlight with nothing to expose. It’s time we spent our time and energy on what matters, not ogling others. The phrase Look in your mirrors before you get out the magnifying glass is so apropos. Sam Adams hasn’t tried to be someone he’s not, but with the American fascination of exposing people’s flaws, he screwed up. Was it wrong to lie? Absolutely. But we might consider that we drive people, all people, to that. If our media handled the famous like other countries, then an openly gay man wouldn’t have to worry about covering up a gay fling with teenager (of legal age). Iceland just elected a lesbian as a Prime Minister.

We’re so far removed from that possibility that it makes me wonder how it is we’re so judgmental. Aside from social and political stance (liberal, conservative, gay, straight), we should truly adhere to the adage Judge not lest ye be judged. Maybe then we could see past the labels and accept each other for who we truly are. But until then, we’ll see black, white, rich, poor, gay, straight, fat, skinny, and all things that make a good story when exposed. No wonder so many people commit the crimes they do for their fifteen minutes…because we give it to them.

Slumdog Inspiration

2009-01-15T13:49:00.000-08:00

I went to perhaps one of the best movies I’ve ever seen this weekend at Ragtag: Slumdog Millionaire. If you haven’t seen it…run, don’t walk. In the realm of great flicks, it ranks with my elite: Stranger Than Fiction, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Atonement. These are just a few of the newer movies on my list, and Slumdog sits at the top. I’m on my way in a few minutes to see Benjamin Button, so perhaps this week will be a two-fer.

But the key to Slumdog’s inspiration lay at the foot of the children the movie featured: slaves, soldiers, survivors from an impoverished third world country. Africa, India, Haiti…these are places that force children to roam the street begging, stealing, surviving. But many don’t. Many are kidnapped, forced into servitude for drug dealers, gun runners, or worse. It puts life in perspective. These children don’t own a textbook, or a book of any kind for that matter. They don’t have Dolce & Gabana jeans, don’t want them, and they don’t worry about being like Britney or Ashton. They worry about being. One need only watch the new season of “24” to see the truth of this all-too-real dilemma.

What would American kids do if they weren’t allowed to go to school? A glib answer would be, “They wouldn’t care.” But that’s not true. Visit children in many of these third world regions, and it’s proof what they’d do without the burden—or privilege—of school. They’d be ecstatic at the possibility of homework, of owning a book, of learning. It isn’t that American kids don’t appreciate what they have. The truth is, they don’t understand it.

If they had to fight and beg for every meal, it would open their eyes. If they lost a mother…a father…or both, they’d develop an appreciation for all things easy. If they had to spend every waking moment surviving instead of assuming and taking for granted, it would alter more than their perspective—it would alter them.

Parents today could take one vacation – just one – that would forever change every teenager and the American mindset of immediacy, greed, and self-centered self-gratification. A mission trip to Jamaica, Haiti, or Jamal’s Mumbai neighborhood would open their minds, reveal the harsh realities of a wider world around them.

Learning isn’t confined to a building… and too many kids learn that the hard way.

Resolutions...

2009-01-07T12:57:00.001-08:00

The new year has started, and everyone is clutching at their fragile resolutions. I wonder how many people make the same one, year after year, only to watch it wither away on a chilly January breeze. I made a new one this year: not to make any more resolutions I couldn't keep. Now THAT'S a resolution worth making. I intend to work out three times a week, I plan to get all my teacher planning finished before the weekend so it doesn't consume my Sundays, I pledge to get my homework done well before class, and I am making a solemn oath to write every single day…even if it's just one sentence. These are all intentions, plans, goals I have and probably have had for some years now. But resolutions? No, because the word means unyielding, unbendable and definite. How do I know what each day will bring me? Danna may have killers to catch, Timmy might finally have his breakthrough, Benson could resolve his issues with Colin's death, and god only knows what Jaxson Ritchie IV has planned (Danna sure doesn't). They may be characters to readers (or future readers since some haven't been finished yet), but to me, these people greet me early in the morning and have plans all their own. I'm just along for the ride. So anything other than my newest resolution makes me nervous.

I'll challenge anyone that my resolution will be easier to keep. Unless, of course, your resolution was to make no more resolutions, or maybe to be resolute in your resolution about not keeping them. Okay, it's starting to make my head hurt now…

Steven Rios trial...

2008-12-06T12:36:00.000-08:00

As I sit in the courtroom waiting on the verdict in the Steven Rios case, I’m considering all that’s happened during this grueling week. Jurors pushed to the brink of exhaustion, attorneys passionate to the point of anger, spectators drained from the rollercoaster testimony of key players. Waiting, listening, watching as jurors request evidence, exhibits, photos…the anticipation is like sitting in the dentist chair with the drill hovering over a pried open mouth.

And it occurs to me…no matter the verdict, the victims will still be victims. Linda will still have lost a son. Libby lost her husband. A son lost his father, whether temporary or terminal. And a city lost its virtue. No matter the outcome, Columbians will be divided, torn by the certainty that their opinion is right. But the truth is, only two people on this planet know what happened on the morning of June 5, 2004, and one of them is dead. With all the facts, the opinions, the judgments, the homophobia, one key detail must be kept central. Jesse Valencia died that morning. He paid with his life, for whatever reason, and no matter his sexual orientation, his indiscretions, and his personal habits, he didn’t deserve to be brutally murdered. Focus is often lost in the heat of battle, but one must never forget what started the war.

Technology in the Classroom

2008-11-24T09:44:00.000-08:00

As I sit in the National Writing Project listening to teachers discuss how to implement technology, it occurs to me just how important it is for teachers to reach out to kids through cyberspace.

I think I’m a prime example of what writing and teaching in the digital age has become. My teaching evolves around using Wikis, blogs, Blackboard, and Nings. As an author, I’m currently writing a multi-genre YA novel (a sequel to Dregs) using blogs, chat rooms, IMs, and text messages. It isn’t centered on just that, but it’s about teens, so it wouldn’t be an authentic representation of them if it didn’t incorporate that on some level. To reach my intended audience, I have to enter their world, and a huge part of their world exists in cyber space. We can’t use age-old strategies for teenagers now, because they’ll feel we can’t relate to them. As an author, I want them to read my work, and say, “Man, she gets it…” As a teacher, I want them to listen to what I’m saying, especially since I’m teaching future teachers how to teach. That listening needs to morph into believing, and the only way to truly convince young people I understand their world is to be part of it. As teachers and authors, we’re role models, and we can exist in those virtual worlds just as we do in the real one. (It begs the issue that teaching via virtual reality also allows the less-interactive kids to interact more openly, where limitations can be breached. Shy kids step out of their box, because they can assume an avatar/persona that gives them anonymity.)

When education embraces the world students/teens spend their evening hours immersed in, we might meet on a middle, common ground that allows learning to abound. And my guess is, kids won’t be the only ones learning.

What It Means to Be an American

2008-11-07T08:22:00.001-08:00

If you list all the hats you wear in your life…wife, teacher, author, mother…where does American fall? For many of us, it’s near the top of the list. I do this activity with various writer’s group, and inevitably, I find American somewhere fifth, sixth, sometimes seventh on that list. Right now, it hovers closer to the top, because the election always reminds me how lucky I am to have the right to vote, to have a say in what happens in my country. When writers list all the roles they assume throughout the day, the week, the month, their life, somewhere down that list, we all come around to it eventually. Why? Because we know what people who don’t live here don’t…being an American, though sometimes taken for granted, rocks. Freedom of speech, of religion, to chase that elusive dream. We have it all, no matter the downside. But how many of us, on that list, put down Republican? Or Democrat? We don’t, because both McCain and Obama said it Tuesday, in their various speeches. Once this election ended, we must come together, forget our differences, and remember, we’re not red America and we’re not blue America. We’re the United States of America, for better or worse.

If you’re patriotic – whether you hang out on the left, the right, or try to straddle somewhere in the middle – you recognize that when it’s all said and done, we have to remember that one of those labels we embrace everyday is American. If you ever doubt it, watch this video of 6-8 year olds singing our National Anthem at a Texas Tech basketball game last year. It’s one of the most amazing performances I’ve ever heard, and should send that surge through you… Man, I wouldn’t wanna live anywhere else.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4Ejji0bcE4

My State of the Nation Address…

2008-10-29T11:59:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I read about the shooting at an Arkansas college, and this morning, I just saw where a little 8-year old boy was at a gun show with his dad, along with an instructor. Christopher Bizilj was allowed to fire an Uzi, and when he lost control, he shot himself in the head and died. It’s a miracle no one else died as well. My issue isn’t with the father or the instructor, and not even with Christopher. We’re fascinated with guns, all of us, or shows like CSI and The Unit wouldn’t so consistently be among Nielsen’s top rated. I’m not a Charlton Heston hater, and I’m not opposed to Americans being entitled to owning guns. Clearly, there’s no merit to the ownership of guns equating to violence. In Canada, until about two years ago, they owned more handguns per person than the U.S., yet their crime rate was profoundly lower than ours. And they’ve had one school shooting to date. One. We’ve had literally thousands now, and it escalates to the point that we barely notice them. There have been over twenty already this year. Isolated incidents, maybe only one person shot, maybe no one hurt, just shots fired. The point is, people can own guns. But what purpose do these automatic weapons serve?

I’ve fired an AK-47 while doing research for a novel. Captain Tom Dresner took me shooting, let me shoot it as a semi- then as a fully automatic. It’s legal, and it’s a rush. But the only place I ever see a use for these weapons is in the military. Christopher Bizilj was not in the military. People who go to gun shows aren’t arming themselves to go to Iraq or Afghanistan. Those who end up with these guns, statistically, are gangs and militia groups. So as manufacturers crank them out, they have to know that these weapons are designed for illegal activity, unless they have a contract with the government.

At some point in this country, we’re going to stop dead in our tracks and think, my god, what has happened to us. If you haven’t already. With the economy in its worst state since World War II, us fighting a war most of us don’t even think about during our day-to-day, they only add to crime, drugs, gangs, and unemployment completely out of control. The media uses fear mongering to keep us worried, afraid, but for all the wrong reasons. We should be afraid of losing ourselves, because it’s happening before our very eyes.

Inspired on my B'day

2008-10-17T09:05:00.001-07:00

A friend in class last night talked about a writer she'd seen in Atlanta...and that speaker gave a talk about writing as a gas, liquid, and solid. Wow, did that get my brain going.

The idea being: when we have ideas, they're like gas. We can barely see them, they're with us, but vapor-like and have no shape. When we begin writing, they're shapeless, like water. We can put them in different containers (short stories, novels, romance, mystery, etc.) But it is still forming, lacks anything we can quite hold onto. Then it becomes a solid, a complete piece that we can look at, pick up, and begin to wonder what it will take to chisel it to a polished piece... This reminds us that even when we think we're finished, there is always polishing to do.

It begs the question: How many times do I let the gas slip through my fingers and not get it to the liquid stage, much less the solid?

So why am I blogging when there are gases out there just waiting, aspiring to be water?

Difficult Times

2008-10-03T09:51:00.003-07:00

The National Book Festival had a different flavor this year, primarily because DC was centered on the bailout talks. Visiting the Holocaust Museum impacted me much as last year’s trip to the Vietnam Memorial did. I think I carried away a different feeling because of the state of our economy.

Republican vs. Democrat aside, we’re in difficult times now, and we run the risk of repeating the 1930s. And then it begs the question – what role did the world’s economic weakness play in Hitler’s rise to power? The Holocaust is a horrific, singular event that is still a black mark on our world’s history, but it isn’t unique in its genocidal scope. Rwanda, Bosnia, and most recently Darfur…it still happens, so perhaps the state of the world is irrelevant. Yet our weakness, being a nation hated by so many others, makes it – and us – vulnerable. It should frighten us. All of it should frighten us. We’re down, and the rest of the world has steel-toed boots. We need to unite, pass the bailout, or we’ll realize we’re nowhere near the bottom yet.

We don’t like the role of being the world’s police, and when we can’t take care of business at home, we can’t even pretend to play it. What then? Darfur needs help, but until we clean up the mess in our own house, it’s hard to see beyond our own front yard.

Help me put www.barribumgarner.com on the map!

2008-09-20T09:02:00.000-07:00

I’ve been abducted! Yes, it’s true…I’m currently without my middle initial, because the guy who built my website, Blake Theiss, owns me and I can’t find him…Blake, if you’re out there, email me (barribum@aol.com )! I need me back!! But the result is that my old website, with that pesky middle initial, is currently out-of-order…so in the meantime, PLEASE visit my brand new site at www.barribumgarner.com and get that puppy on the Google map! The more hits it gets, the easier it will be to sidestep the old one. In December, I should own me again. But in the meantime, if you see me wandering aimlessly down the street, help me get where I need to go (that’s a dangerous statement to make, isn’t it?) So as I head off to D.C. for the National Book Festival , I’m hoping everybody who googles me will find me!

Opinions Matter...

2008-09-07T18:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I've successfully finished the first week into a new school year, and ended that week with hate mail from a writer friend. I watch the hate-mongering in the media, listen to all sides of the political world attack one another, and every news outlet in the U.S. chooses this tactic because, to be honest, hatred and anger evoke a response. As long as we're frightened of things, we embrace what "they" tell us. School violence is a prime example. Our nation is one of the only that ever has school shootings. Rare instances occur in other countries, but it's so common here now, most people don't even realize there have been several acts of deadly school violence already this school year in America. If it's not of Virginia Tech or Columbine magnitude, it barely breaks a below-the-fold headline. We fear, we attack, and we stay on guard. Until recently, Canadians had more handguns per person than any other nation, yet had one of the lowest crime rates of the Western world...why? Because if it bleeds it DOESN'T lead. They don't give media coverage to violent offenders...they don't get their 15 minutes, and rightly so.

That being said, I ranted about how much ALL these politicians scare me, and yes, I did speak out that Palin scared me with wanting to make abortion illegal. I don't want the government controlling my body. I'm not an abortion advocate. But I'm also not represented at the federal level. No one there is like me... a middle class female who wants a much higher quality education for our youth, a heavier hand against drug use and possession, lower crime, active resistance against gangs, and equal rights for everyone. I would prefer someone moderate who could share the beliefs of a true majority instead of radicals on both ends, but honestly, no one is running who represents those who don't want to swing way out to the right or left. There is no longer a middle America. And we are a reactive, hateful people. When the Dixie Chicks received death threats, I marveled how much hatred Christians can muster. The values we're supposed to possess in dealing with our fellow human beings is apparently only applicable if the opinions expressed are shared. We recite "judge not lest ye be judged' but few live by the creed. If we all took out mirrors instead of magnifying glasses, it would be a much nicer place to live. As it is, I've discovered opinions matter only if they are what peole want to hear. But we can't all agree on everything. If only it were that easy.

Political Rant...

2008-09-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I hover somewhere closer to the left of middle as far as politics are concerned (I'm a teacher, I'm female, and other assorted issues and quite honestly, No Child Left Behind is the stupidest thing that ever happened to education)...so anyway. I'm reading about McCain's family values and listening to him talk. It's hard not to like him, being a POW and all. Then I start reading about his 14 year marriage that didn't end until 1980. And he met his new wife Cindy and started a relationship in 1979... My math isn't great, but clearly, he is seeing Cindy while wife one (I believe her name started with a C also) is still legally his wife. Within mere months of the divorce, he and Cindy marry. Okay, so that happens all the time. I can accept a man valuing a new family over the old one, especially when she's 18 years younger than he is.

Then we move on to Gov. Palin...Ms. I-wanna-overturn-Roe v. Wade...if that doesn't terrify every woman on the planet, then you don't deserve a womb. I'm not a huge proponent of abortion, but I don't want butcher alley abortions for those who do want them and need them. I've watched 13-year old girls have babies and learn how to work the welfare system, and trust me, the cycle doesn't end. Every junior high and high school teacher on the planet has seen it. As much as we want them to put babies up for adoption, the culture they're raised in doesn't often promote it. But I digress... Sarah Palin stands for everything that scares me about politics. She preaches Roe v. Wade and family values with a 17-year old pregnant daughter. Now perhaps this was an immaculate conception, or most likely, her daughter didn't practice safe sex. Whatever the reason, I can't fathom someone standing on a pedastal ranting how she can facilitate change and help run this country, when clearly she hasn't done well at home. Mistakes happen, even to good, righteous families. But for a woman to sit in our White House, I'd like to think she can manage her own home better than allowing her 17-year old to get pregnant. I have friends who got pregnant young and have seen more recent friends have daughters get pregnant, and every time, it was a breakdown of some sort in the family structure.

Why people have made the word Liberal a dirty word, I have no idea. To most in education, it means open-mindedness and willingness to embrace change. Are you better off than you were 8 years ago? Not likely. Unemployment is higher than it's ever been, foreclosures are at an alarming rate, homelessness is worse than ever, gas prices at an all-time high over the past year. And to elect the oldest persident ever? That's not change, that's more of the same... He voted with President Bush on 91% of all proposals this past term. 91%...so what the heck is he gonna change???

Fear mongering is central to the American way (our media has been doing it for decades), so they try to scare us that Obama has Muslim background. Well, I have German background. Does that make me a Nazi? No. If we want to turn around everything the last 8 years has done in damage, we need REAL change. I'd prefer to elect a moderate (Rudy Guiliani would've been perfect...a candidate who's been both Democrat and Republican, who stands for middle class values, and god forbid, is a balance of liberal and conservative).

I'm not opposed to some Conservative values and I embrace some Liberal...I'm a Christian, and as a teacher, I can tell you that our kids need us to speak their language and lead by example. We need to put it all in perspective. Crime, drugs, gangs...it's all out of control, and preaching isn't changing a thing. Kids learn by doing, by watching, by emulating. And what they've learned from us drove them to do what they doing now. It's not working, so driving the same car down the same street at the same pace isn't going to change it.

"Progress always involves risks. You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first." ~Frederick B. Wilcox

It's time to try new tactics.

Voices That Need To Be Heard…

2008-08-28T10:59:00.000-07:00

Classes have gotten back underway, and as always, life flips into overdrive. We’re busy, we lose track of those around us, and worse, we lose track of ourselves. In the crazy hectic world, sometimes things are thrown in our path that make us stop and pay attention. This one did it to me… Columbia’s Second Chance, an animal shelter that rescues literally thousands of dogs, cats, and other animals a year, depends almost entirely on donations and fundraisers. And now they’re struggling…big time. Reading articles about the dilemma, the philanthropic organization refuses to close its doors on needy animals (thank god!), but likewise is threatened with the possibility of losing its tenuous role as savior to all these animals. Without them, pets would be dumped, thousands would simply die from abuse and neglect, and as much as the Humane Society can help, they don’t reach nearly the wide range of territory as Second Chance.

I teach at MU while working on my PhD and writing books…I know what kids spend on shoes, clothes, video games, etc. I also know what people blow eating out, buying gadgets (I’m as guilty as the next person), and spending a night at a club. To give up just one evening out, if all of us would do it, thousands of animals’ lives could be saved. If you saw the face of an abused or neglected puppy and knew $20 would save his life, you’d donate it, but just because you can’t see his face, know that he’s still there…

Please consider what you can do to help. Drop off a bag of dog food or donate a little cash instead of getting a pizza tonight. Every little bit we do matters…we all say we want to do more, so here’s a great way to prove it.

To donate, visit:
www.columbia2ndchance.org

To read more about the crisis:

http://columbiatribune.com/2008/feb/20080228news007.asp http://columbiatribune.com/2007/nov/20071113comm001.asp

Inspiration Squared

2008-08-14T13:34:00.001-07:00

This week, between going to see Melissa Etheridge and watching the Olympics, I’m busting with inspiration. If you’ve never see Melissa in concert, you should. Having beaten breast cancer and seeing the silver lining of it, Melissa is nothing short of inspirational. In an era of me-me-me, she proves that her song “I Run for Life” can impact millions of people, and that celebrity status can be for perpetuating good-will and positive energy, and not just a paycheck. And then being absorbed by the historical implications of Michael Phelps and May-Treanor & Walsh, it is truly a privileged time to be alive.

We often look back on our history’s past and wonder Man, it had to be cool to be alive then…

Now is one of those “thens” and with people like our Olympians and someone as dedicated to the betterment of humankind as Melissa Etheridge, I tip my hat and realize that not everything about today’s society is negative media fodder. If only the sports world could’ve handled the Brett Favre saga with as much grace.

Melissa’s message, and that of many Olympians, is simple: be a better person, and we’ll create a better tomorrow.

Well said and easily done. One person at a time… Let’s start right now.

Vacations are eternal...

2008-07-28T10:27:00.000-07:00

The silver lining of vacations are the paths you cross. Hawaii exceeded all expectations: swimming with sea turtles, discovering dolphins, and chasing sunsets. The families you meet, the couples you feel at home around, the faces that become familiar, if only for a brief stint. Pat/Candi/Mallory/Greta/Grace from Hershey, PA remind me that the beach isn’t the only destination worthy of a trip… Harvey and Jackie from Alaska inspire me to travel north, that it might just be beautiful enough to weather the cold…

More trips line the horizon, more people to scratch off the stranger list, more possibilities that make me giddy with anticipation. Hawaii may be headed into my rearview, but it was lighted paths to new places not yet on my list. For that, I have my vacation friends to thank!

Retreat...

2008-06-23T08:51:00.000-07:00

To move away, draw back, recoil…in war, it’s for safety and signifies giving up ground. But the blessed word has a new meaning for me.

I gave the word new meaning when I went on a Writer’s Retreat last weekend in northwest Missouri, at Conception Abbey, and a retreat, it was. The Prairie Lands Writing Project hosted the event, and the fine-tuned schedule gave way to blocks of time to start a new novel. Writing for hours at a time with no phone, no email, no texts, no dogs, no doorbell, no interruptions at all. Bliss, is what we should rename it.

Every writer should try one…every author should embrace the silence and solitude of a monastery and experience the sheer inspiration that occurs because of it. I intend to find all the retreats in my area and replicate this feeling as much as possible! For now, I’ll answer my email and my phone, but I’ll feel the pull to move away, to leave when the next retreat comes my way.

Family Evolution...

2008-06-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

At different stages in our lives, it takes on a whole different meaning. As kids, our parents care for us, wipe our mouths, our bottoms, and ready the world for us and us for the world. That function has evolved over the past generation, and the pros and cons of parenting today vs. twenty years ago is a hot debate. What happens once kids leave home and begin lives of their own starts a cycle of change.

At some point in the grand scheme of things, the roles reverse. It’s often so subtle, we don’t realize it has happened. And then it’s just the way it is. What is disheartening is that in this country, so many of our elderly are not well cared for, nor does our society treat them with the respect they’ve earned and deserve. This is something we could take from the Asian and African-American cultures: treat with reverence those who’ve brought you into this world, because as they leave it, we are made better by their time with us. When we shove our parents and grandparents into nursing homes and forget about them, we are only perpetuating that mentality with our children. What then? Are we ready to be the next victim? Do we want to be the ones on the hidden cameras being abused by unhappy nursing home workers, taking their life’s frustrations out on those who can’t defend themselves? Much like people who hurt animals and babies, those who abuse the elderly deserve nothing less than the exact same treatment. If we truly subscribed to the mentality of an eye for an eye, many would think before they acted. As it is now, we’re simply digressing into a society so plagued by violence, we don’t even see the severity and totality of it. As Gandhi once said, “An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” So the message is to do unto others as we’d like them to do unto us. If you haven’t talked to your parents or grandparents lately, call them. Tell them you love them…better yet, go visit them. Life is short, and before you know it, visiting will only happen when you pass through the Pearly Gates. If you pass through the Pearly Gates. Perhaps the best message is that the love, respect, and compassion you show now gets you a ticket in line at those Gates. If more people had faith in that, it truly would be a better world to live in.

Cold in May...

2008-05-27T11:29:00.001-07:00

I've decided Mother Nature must be just completely ticked at us...why else is the weather completely bizarre? As I sit and write, I marvel that in late May, I'm COLD! Yes, that's right...COLD! Usually in mid-Missouri, late May is the lead-in to 90 degree days, tanning, and getting the pool warm enough to swim in. But no, after the hardest winter in well over a decade, the spring has been complete with enough rain to fill the pool without need of a hose, and now, the cold front moving through sparks my belief that the world might just be ending.

Thunder snow, ice storms, tsunamis, earthquakes, landslides, wild fires, tornadoes, floods...and I'm sure droughts are on the horizon. If this isn't punishment for all our humanly destruction of rain forests and everything put on earth to help us live, then what is it?

We've treated our resources the way we do everything else: to fulfill immediate gratification without regard for our future. And why not? We won't be around to suffer the consequences.

That mindset has worked SO well for us so far...

Wow Moments...

2008-05-19T12:08:00.000-07:00

Wow Moments…

This weekend, I participated in the Kansas City Literary Festival. Reading excerpts from Dregs always means a lot to me, to share insights into what it might take to stop school violence, and I feel every person I touch might help. The weekend was a success, and I feel humbled to have been part of a wonderful literary event.

Highlights for me started Friday night when I got to see the original copies of books by Sir Isaac Newton, Copernicus, Charles Darwin, and Galileo. It puts everything in perspective… And then only an hour later, I met the last U.S. astronaut to walk on our moon, Harrison “Jack” Schmitt. What an amazing man! His wife, Theresa, was just as amazing and interesting to talk to. After chatting with him and getting his autograph, I realized that exploration and constant evolution is what keeps this country alive. So when I got home and had an email sending me to a moving video by Lizzie Palmer called Remember Me, I watched it.

Humbled again, I wanted to share and be part of the generation that says, “I may not believe in the war, but it doesn’t mean I don’t believe in the warriors.” Men and women fight for our country, they do what they’re told, and they do it without hesitation. And for that, we sit in our homes without fear of foreign countries barging in.

To all the men and women who fight for our nation, to all the pioneers who strive to better our world, thank you.

The Blank Page

2008-05-12T07:54:00.000-07:00

When I see a blank page, like Donald Murray, I see the promise of what could be…

I live in an era not of erasers or trashcans but of delete buttons and recycle bins, but the goal and triumph is universal. To write something beautiful, eloquent, readable, entertaining, inspiring…is nothing short of amazing every time I attempt it. I, too, am not sure if I’ve completed anything deserving of accolades, of that point in which you stop and think My god, I’ve done it. I never feel finished.

No matter at what stage I’m in with a project, I could continue to edit, revise, elaborate… when I pick up a copy of one of my novels in a bookstore, I don’t actually read the lines or I’m afraid I’d want to take out a pencil. However, the rush of emotion as I gaze at the product is overwhelming. The product itself never satisfying, it’s the journey that evokes the sense of wonder, of completion, of a sheer euphoria only experienced while writing. Many hobbies satisfy, exhilarate, even intoxicate me, but none elicits the response of writing something I feel worthy of reading aloud. First to myself, then to my dogs, then to my best friend. If it survives the triad, I surge ahead with edits, revision, and the ultimate goal of finding where it fits: a blog, a chapter, an essay… That component may signify the end of the journey for the child I’ve created, but for me, it’s the point in time at which I created it that exudes the memories. Isn't that what conception truly is? I think so.

6-word memoirs

2008-05-05T07:40:00.000-07:00

In honor of the 6-word memoir trend (thank you, Ernest Heminway for your powerful: for sale, baby shoes, never used), I have dabbled with these for myself...

Glass half full, cracked but functional.
Pen to paper is my oxygen.
To love is everything to me.
Apathy only abated by enthusiastic innovation.
Fame matters only to get read.

If you try this and come up with some really powerful ones, share!!

April 16, 2008

2008-04-16T17:24:00.001-07:00

One-year anniversary of young lives abbreviated, cut short by anger
I pause, reflecting
Who am I to be so busy I can’t take a breath, absorb the now, abstain from the next
They can’t
I will
As we walk the roads, choosing the intersections, hurrying through them, oblivious of the deeper meaning, we forget to stop and say hi, to contemplate the birds twittering on a branch, territorial and basic

I pause, reflecting
Who am I to be so selfish that I can’t take a moment to understand the implications of what the day means to so many
Not just the families but to kids, to teenagers, to teachers who let it linger in the backs of their minds…
What if it happened here?

I pause, reflecting
Who am I to be so absent-minded that I can’t take a shot at making a difference, that I have the pen to impact, the platform to if not erase, ease the depth of the wounds inflicted.
Names matter, remembering matters, nurturing matters, dealing matters, avoiding an encore matters
If we can’t stop it, can’t put an off-ramp on that cyclical road of hate, of feeling cornered, of no-other-way-out-but-with-a-gun mentality, then we have to consider destroying the road
Just because we think our way of learning, of teaching works, it doesn’t. Not for everyone
We need to touch everyone

I pause, reflecting
Schools synonymous with a new era, of places we thank god we weren’t, and then I realize
We were there
We were all there
And I pray we can stay away from the next place

Walter Williams Major Work Award

2008-04-15T13:20:00.001-07:00

I'm on cloud nine!!

This weekend the Missouri Writers' Guild gave out its annual awards, from Best Fiction to Best Magazine article, but the ultimate is the Walter Williams Major Work Award, named after the gentleman who was founding dean of the J-School at MU back in the early 1900s.

The good news? My young adult novel Dregs won 2nd place in the Walter Williams Award, ahead of several major authors! :-) The winner is none other than Ellen Gray Massey, my sophomore English teacher! The conference was a wonderful success, and Naomi Shihab Nye was nothing less than amazingly inspirational!

The Evolution of Spring Break

2008-03-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

I wonder when the idea of spring break morphed from being a necessary respite after hard winters and the demands of school into a drunk fest in a beach town? It’s become vogue to travel somewhere exotic, have wild tales of extraordinary adventures to share. So then students return exhausted, too tired to attend classes for at least another week, though their body my actually be in a chair in the classroom. Perhaps the latter is more applicable to college students, but the travel has broadened to include all student ages. Maybe the Vitamin D is more important than rest, but I’m staking my claim for a walk on the MKT Trail, sleeping in, afternoon movies, and no grading for at least four consecutive days. Rest, relaxation, and re-energizing. That’s my goal.

Perhaps because I travel during the summer and on Christmas break, I don’t feel compelled to battle thousands of half-naked drunks who’ll regret 80% of what they did come the Monday after…

Oh, God, I think I just became my mother.

Brett Dennen's "Ain't No Reason"

2008-03-19T14:46:00.003-07:00

If you haven’t heard Brett Dennen’s new song “Ain’t No Reason” you need to…much like Kid Rock’s “Amen,” it illustrates so much of what’s wrong in America, but offers hope of how perhaps to fix it. We can turn a blind eye, we can claim not to be able to change any of the problems spiraling out of control, but if we all felt that way, where would that leave us?

We have voices…blogs…websites…what kind of revolution could we incite? A revolution of hope, of promise, and what could be and not what once was. I look up at a horizon and not down at the mud puddles; I blink into the sun, but use an umbrella to shield myself from the rain. If we can teach that, embrace possibilities and not moan the roadblocks, then the promise of a new generation can open doors, eliminate barriers, and build new bridges. Brett Dennen and John Lennon (a parallel in names?) expose the wires, but it’s up to us to coat them, to re-connect, to reroute the current. My money is on a visionary who plans to seize the moment of our world and have a dream, someone who will guide us to ask not what our country can do for us, someone who has a hand up and not a hand out. If there is more than one, if we have the luxury of embracing change and challenges, then it’s just a matter of keeping our eyes open. Better to need sunglasses than umbrellas.

Brett Dennen's "Ain

2008-03-19T14:46:00.001-07:00

Victims of Violence

2008-03-13T17:50:00.001-07:00

School violence has many victims. Those shot, those wounded, those who survive. Last week, an 18- year old boy in Alabama went to school with a gun. He stood in the gym, fired a shot into the ceiling to get the attention of nearly 150 classmates, then shot himself while they watched. He died. They didn’t. But how many will have nightmares, unable to erase the sound, the smell, the sight of a violent death right in front of them.

School violence has many victims. Those who recall things they might’ve said or done to him, maybe things they didn’t say or do for him. In an era when being a teenager is harder than ever, to witness such a horror is to know tragedy in a way most can never grasp. To say being a teenager today is tough is cliché. To know there must be a solution is naïve. To want answers and a way to smooth the way is idealistic. But to not try is to condone the daily apathy – and cruelty – we see in so many of our youth.

Today’s kids worry about fitting in, avoiding the bully who’s picked on them since third grade, and what to wear that won’t get them teased. Top that off with the stressors of drugs, gangs, and sex, they can’t even get to the issue of homework and making good grades. Kids who’re lucky enough to avoid many of these pitfalls have their own worries. And even what doesn’t happen in their world, because our media is obsessed with instilling fear in our nationwide audience, will leak into their sheltered world.

School violence has many victims, and the reality is, the American psyche is one of them.

Read Across America

2008-03-07T07:47:00.000-08:00

The National Education Association launched Read Across America on Monday, and the “Read-In” began in Atlanta. I took part in it on Tuesday at West Junior High School in Columbia, MO, and I can tell you, the power of reading to teenagers is underrated.

Over 100 teenagers sat rapt while I read a story about kids like them… I shared an excerpt of my young adult novel Dregs, a chapter leading up to a jock on the verge of a meltdown. The most powerful image, for me, was of a girl who nodded her head while I was reading a scene of a freshman picking on a 7th grader. That said enough to me: she’d seen it with her own eyes. It validated what I’d written and why I write. For every author in America, validation from readers, especially young readers, measures higher than sales, recognition, even awards.

Reaching people…that’s what teachers strive to do. As an author, achieving that is on a different level. We get feedback, hear from readers what they liked and even didn’t. As a teacher, we seldom know our impact until years later. I have some students who stay in touch with me, and because they tell me what an inspiration I was, I know how I touched them. But so often, I’ll hear that a former student of mine has gone into education to be an English teacher or has gone into Journalism or has published something. A little smile creeps across my face, because I’d like to think it had just a little to do with me and my class. I might be wrong, but there’s nothing mistaken about a listener nodding her head like she knows exactly what I’m talking about. That’s direct and immediate feedback, and for many of us, it’s what motivates us to keep writing! I think I’ll start a new YA novel right now.

Kindred Spirit

2008-02-26T13:14:00.000-08:00

It isn't very often that we meet/see someone who possesses the same mindset as ourselves. Cynics don't disagree about the same plights, optimists are hopeful about varying degrees of issues, but every once in a while, we might a kindred spirit. Okay, so I didn't meet mine, but I saw her in concert on Sunday night. Martina McBride...though I'm not a huge country music fan (I'm a Kid Rock/Nickelback/Beatles/Melissa Etheridge sorta girl)...but her song "Do It Anyway" has been my anthem since it came out. I always told my students, "I'm not just a glass-half-full person...I'm just happy to have a glass." The theory there is I could have a paper cup or nothing at all, and I'm grateful for the little things. That song summed up a lot about me.

After seeing Martina McBride in concert, I realize that's really who she is. Down-to-earth, grateful for the small things, and seizing life by the moment. She even used a key phrase I say often, "I'm lucky to be living my dream."

So hopefully I can find more of us out there...and we can spread optimism the way many spread their cynicism. Why not? It's not like we have anything to lose...

One Degree of Separation

2008-02-18T13:51:00.000-08:00

If I were Kevin Bacon, I’d now only have one degree of separation from one of my all-time idols – Stephen King. Or Steve, as Ridley Pearson refers to him. After spending the weekend at the Write to Learn conference in Osage Beach, I got to introduce an author I’ve admired for over a decade. If that wasn’t enough, hearing Ridley talk about playing in his band, The Rock Bottom Remainders, I had a serious case of author envy. Ridley’s current YA book (he has published mostly thrillers until he and Dave Barry decided to answer the questions never explained in Peter Pan) spent 47 weeks on the NY Times Bestseller List. When I intro’d him, I suggested he loan me a week. I’d even do a minute or two, though that might not be long enough to call my mom and my friends…

What I learned this weekend is that as long as authors stay “real,” fans will always stay loyal. It makes you wonder what Britney, Paris, and Lindsay are thinking. What Ridley proved is that great success happens to normal, nice, and inherently good people. Movies, TV shows, Bestseller lists…it took him nearly a decade to achieve it, so with all the success I’ve enjoyed so far, I think I’ve been lucky…plus, I have six years to go to start fretting over the movie and TV thing.

Hmmmm, in 8 Days, I’ll have Brad Pitt play Jake, Al Pacino would be a perfect Tony Andrews, Matthew McConaughey could be Dusty…as for Slipping, Ed Norton is my only choice for Seth, Mark Wahlberg is Mikie, and Danna Scanlon? That’s easy…Jodi Foster needs to reverse age. And in Dregs, let’s see…

My Sign of the Chinese Zodiac

2008-02-12T09:47:00.000-08:00

Being a dragon has a mystique about it…I have visions of Wesley Snipes’ movies and New Years celebrations with dragon tails slinking and rising behind the beastly head. It says I’m eccentric, complex, and passionate. This couldn’t describe me better, though at first I balked at the description of being eccentric. Then I looked it up, the literal meaning, and realized I am eccentric.

“Unconventional and strange”…yes, that’s me. To fit nicely into a little hole would be boring and limiting. Instead, I do push convention, I do feel the need to erase the lines of the box, not just step outside it. Life wasn’t meant to be lived inside a box. We’re pioneers, in every since of the word. We’ve discovered most corners of the known world, so we’ve ventured into outer space and now find ourselves exploring inner space – cyber space.

As a dragon, I want to lead the charge in finding new and more interesting ways to live outside our conventions, our boxes, the limitations we place on ourselves and each other. What a boring life it would be if we all paid attention to rules and abided by its confines. Not me, I want to rename roads, reroute pathways, and reorganize the way people think about things. Living my life won’t do it, but writing about other lives might… To create worlds is the ultimate satisfaction – it has no bounds.

Freewriting...

2008-02-05T15:41:00.001-08:00

Sometimes the idea of freewriting overwhelms because there are so many things I want to write, need to write. My brain jams with all the possibilities…do I write something new? Work on something I have a deadline for? Compose a new blog? Actually finish a project I've stuffed in a drawer waiting for a time when I can write anything I absolutely want to?

And then the parameter of turning it in…it changes my mindset. To meander thoughtfully on a page like walking a path in the woods. Turn left, no look at that tree straight ahead, but what about way over there, isn't that a fence? Oooh, I have to cross the fence, go where I probably shouldn't, because that's how my brain works. And then to consider all the things to touch, to look at, to explore deeper. If I stay on the more worn path, I'm left with a Frost-like philosophy, What if I missed something I could show to the world, a new idea, a new plot, a new concept no one has ever thought of before? The writer-envy wants a Walden experience in an urban world. Can I have that? Live in the big-middle of the world and find a utopian spot where only I can see all the intricacies of a story no one has yet told? The idea gives me chills. To discover, to explore, to generate thoughts that might open eyes to something brand new or a new twist on something age-old. isn't that what every writer dreams of? It’s a quandary for me to think I might not come up with anything special: Conroy's Beach Music, Capote's In Cold Blood, Mitchell's Gone with the Wind, Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath…the books that need no summary, need no introduction, that a first line whispered is often enough to evoke the memory of having read it. With the things I've written, I haven't achieved that. I yearn for it, ache to create that Oprah-admired instant classic that people will oooh and ahhh over and say, "Wow, I knew she had it in her, but I never dreamed it would be this wonderful."

God, a girl can dream…

Nice is Out...

2008-01-28T09:59:00.000-08:00

We live in a day and age in which 'being nice' is out. People second-guess motives, don't trust a random comment, outright believe that something a person says is an effort to manipulate or hurt them. What has happened to our society?

Sometimes I wish I lived in the 50s, when being nice was not only in, it was expected. Instead, no one believes it's possible today. Everybody wants something from somebody. But do they really? I don't think so. I believe we can chat with people without expecting something in return, that we can say thank you and mean it, that we can say you're sorry for someone's loss or hurting and truly believe it. But paranoia is a more normal emotion than compassion. Fear replaces empathy, and too close behind is apathy and anger.

This week, at least for a few days, think before you react. Take a deep breath before you assume something you're perceiving isn't what it seems. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember to take out your mirror before getting out your magnifying glass.

As a writer, it's hard to imagine a world without conflict…all stories revolve around it. But the nature of our world signals that if something doesn't reverse or take a serious turn soon, we're going to self-destruct. I, for one, often do things for no other reason than to be nice. And I know many people do. But the focus for many is on the self-serving belief that people are out to hurt them. The most important adage for most Americans is to understand that not everything is about them. We're a self-indulgent, self-absorbed, self-obsessed society. Being nice takes too much time, too much effort, and isn't the kind of attention many people want.

Imagine, though, the reaction of a person when they think they're going to get a ticket but they discover someone dropped fifty cents into their meter? You might not get credit, but you made someone's day. Leave a good book on the counter at the laundromat, pick up a stranger's tab at lunch, or simply offer a smile to someone today and tell them, "You look great today." The results beat the heck out of the effort.

Yep, being nice may not be vogue, but I prefer a world out of style than one with so much anger and hatred that you dread encounters with people immersed in it.

What is the secret to the U.S. equaling Asian’s education success?

2008-01-22T08:44:00.001-08:00

If I could answer that, I’d be rich. I can tell you one of our number one mistakes has been letting politicians mandate what goes on in the classroom, instead of schools and those trained for it orchestrating the framework for learning.

When President Bush got the NCLB bandwagon rolling, no one understood the full concept. It sounds good—No Child Left Behind. However, as harsh as it sounds, teachers can only move forward with the kids who want to move forward. Someone will be left behind, because in this country, nearly 7% of our kids want to drop out of school. If we focus too much time and energy on those who don’t want help, what’s happening to everyone else in the meantime? The bottom 7% will wander off into the sunset to work at McDonald’s or suck the marrow out of the welfare system, and in the meantime, we’ll be letting a new 7% flounder…Bush’s plan is to keep that average up. Think about that for a moment. Let’s increase the average, matter of fact, let’s keep all kids ABOVE average… Did President Bush take math? I’ve seen him blunder statements about fool him once, shame on him, etc. So perhaps someone should tip him that an average is created by numbers above and BELOW it… Teachers understand the reality: we will leave some kids behind. Not because we want to, but because it’s the nature of education…in America.

However, the idealism of NCLB works in Asia. Have you seen Shift Happens? If you haven’t, you should. Because as we face the stressors of keeping American children motivated, other countries are leaving us to eat their dust. The difference? Families. Homes. Respect. Expectations.

I have friends in the PhD program with me who are from China, Korea, Taiwan. Their children don’t talk back to them. Their children don’t expect to be entertained 24/7 by XBoxes, iPods, or teachers. They spend nearly 10 hours a day learning, and their common language? English. They understand that to fail in school is to let their families down. Drugs are for gangbangers and criminals, not casual use on a Friday night. What have these countries done that we haven’t? If we don’t find out soon, America won’t be the leading innovator in anything, not even the highest percentage of English speaking citizens. We’ve taken the melting pot concept to an all-time high. It’s projected that by 2015, the most prominent language in our country will be Spanish, while China and India will be 100% English speaking (as a first or second language). The most startling fact is that our percentage of those living in poverty or supported by the state will exceed those who, well, aren’t. While we’re focusing on how to keep our kids off the streets, off drugs, and out of gangs, Asian countries will be figuring out how to get all American products outsourced to them. They’re well on their way.

To break this cycle, we must address the other number one mistake we’ve made – parents need to step up and remember they are their kids first teacher. We’ll have to decide: Am I going to be politically correct and reason with my child or be a parent and raise my child?

My Own Bucket List

2008-01-15T10:13:00.001-08:00

After seeing the movie on Friday, I think Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman have tapped into something inspiring. If you haven't seen it, The Bucket List, the basic message is to live life to its fullest before you die. Therefore, make a list of all the things you'd like to do before you kick the bucket.

I was inspired enough to start my own "Bucket List" and it got me thinking…in the words of Tim McGraw, we should all "live like we were dying." Instead, what we do is live to exist, to pay the bills, work for the weekend, don't pass go until Friday… But life isn't just from Friday at 5:00 until Monday morning. It doesn't pause for the stress of the work-week, for early bedtimes and higher stress, it doesn't say anywhere that you should only grill in the summer and only go out on the weekends. One thing I've learned is to catch a movie on a Wednesday night or play cards on a Monday. Nothing erases the stressors of work faster than play. And adults forget how cleansing play can be.

My New Year's Resolution is always to work out more, to make time to get in shape. As a former college athlete, it's a no-brainer. But this year, I'm going to wrap that in a different package. My resolution is to play more, spend more time laughing, focus on what's really important: living.

A New Civil Rights Movement…

2008-01-07T10:34:00.000-08:00

I was born in a decade of civil unrest. Riots, anger, supremist mentality…despite the summer of love, the sixties echoed with turmoil and hatred. Rising in the time were brave voices, strong resistors, people who fought for what they believed in without fists or bloodshed. Where are the Martins and Bobbys now? Who would step up and fill Rosa's shoes, advocate with Medger, lead with JFK? Turbulent times called for calm leadership, and someone always stepped up.

After a visit to Memphis, I'm left wondering who could step forward now. With the rising youth movement of gang mentality, a sense of entitlement from most under the age of twenty, a dropout rate soaring…we need a Martin Luther King, Jr. Someone to stand up and open the eyes of a generation blind to the realities of the world they're ignoring. Are we leaving that to the idols of today? Eminem? Allen Iverson? Michael Vick?

There are saviors, but too many of us pay little attention to what matters. Movements center on the environment, politics, religion…while these rank high on the importance list, nothing outweighs the future of our youth.

I was in junior high during the late seventies -- skyrocketing gas during the energy crisis, hostages in Iran, a peanut farmer's down-home attitude in the White House. Being a teenager was tough, times were tough, but nothing like the Civil Rights era. And now…years after most nations have long-since had female and minority leaders, the U.S. continues to battle issues spawned by racism and classism. We've gotten nowhere, except in the midst of an overly obsessed era of political correctness. Coupled with the spiral down a drug-gang toilet, we've succeeded in preserving all the worst components of past decades. My generation saw to that.

Violence has been a central theme in our nation since its inception. Good for us…at least we have some nostalgia for our past. It's time for someone to step up, to impose a positive spin on a generation in dire need of help, of leadership, of hope.

We can only pray people will listen.

Speak Up for More than Just a TV Show...

2007-12-18T08:05:00.000-08:00

The Shifting Sand and Sorrow

This weekend I saw Sand and Sorrow on HBO…every human being should be required to watch this documentary of what's gone on in the Sudan.
We're an educated people, yet we're making ignoring an artform. How can a country so intent on being the world's police disregard what's going on in Darfur? We barge in where we're often not wanted, yet we allow the brutal genocide of a people who desperately need and want our help. It’s staggering to know that, in my lifetime, there has been genocide in Cambodia, Rwanda, Bosnia, and is currently happening in the Sudan. We are repulsed by Adolf Hitler, but he is at least four times removed and has been emulated by other fascist extremists, and it will certainly happen again.
The Sudanese are making their place in history, their careful destruction of non-Arabic citizens. What is wrong with us? The human race, I mean… Are we so barbaric that we condone the kind of thinking that says, "Hey, you all don't like people with green eyes? I guess we can't argue with that mentality. Go ahead and kill them, but can you do it while cameras aren't watching?"
I'm proud to be an American…I enjoy the freedoms my country offers. I admire and support our troops, regardless of the missions they enforce. Those who oppose the war in Iraq have to be able to separate the message from the messenger. We must support our troops, no matter what. And if the American mentality is to restore peace throughout the world, I don't know how we can ignore what is happening to the Darfur population. Left to starve to death, they rely on aid simply to survive. A group of people who once thrived on commerce and their own resources. The Sudanese government decided those of non-Arabic descent needed to be 'abolished,' so now, after hundreds of thousands have been slaughtered, several million are left to starve to death.
Have you had enough to eat this year? What have you bought that you've thrown in a closet, a drawer, a cabinet, never to be used again? This is more than just about money… this is about a voice, action, holding people accountable. You can read this and think, I can't help…they won't do anything anyway.
How will you know unless you try?
Write your senator, your representative, even your president…this is a nation of people who demanded a TV show being cancelled be resurrected by sending corporate America packages of peanuts. Yes, peanuts. Hundreds of thousands of them. The rallying cry of Jericho fans -- Nuts! -- was heard, and the show is being brought back. If we can get people to listen to what we want on TV, imagine if we collectively cried out for help for those less fortunate…our own homeless, our battered wives, our abused children. Wealthy Americans have embraced causes by donating their time and massive amounts of money, but only a government can enforce the kind of change needed in a small country being systematically destroyed across the Atlantic.
If we reserve our energy only for TV shows, what does that say about us?

· Armenians in Turkey: 1915-1918 - 1,500,000 Deaths
· Stalin's Forced Famine: 1932-1933 - 7,000,000 Deaths
· Rape of Nanking: 1937-1938 - 300,000 Deaths
· Nazi Holocaust: 1938-1945 - 6,000,000 Deaths
· Pol Pot in Cambodia: 1975-1979 - 2,000,000 Deaths
· Rwanda: 1994 - 800,000 Deaths
· Bosnia-Herzegovina: 1992-1995 - 200,000 Deaths
· Darfur: 2004-present - 400,000 dead; 2,500,000 refugees
"Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it." ~ George Santayana

Future Writers of America!

2007-12-11T10:21:00.000-08:00

Many of the events I do are so rewarding because I get to interact with great kids who are either avid readers, aspiring writers, or just interested in what being an author is like. This past weekend, I got to be touched by two different groups of teenagers and elementary-aged kids.

Friday, I did a video-conference through the Cooperating School District in St. Louis, connecting with Saeger Middle School in the Francis Howell School District. I talked to a group of 8th graders, and it really took me back to my Oakland classroom teaching days. These kids were fun, inquisitive, and reminded me what I loved about teaching! it was my first experience doing a video conference, and to have interaction with kids via TV was amazing! Plus, the teenagers had some incredibly insightful questions.

Click here and scroll down for photos of the event.

On Saturday, I got a second dose when I did a keynote stint for the Saturday Writers workshop: “Writing for Readers of Any Age.” I talked to a group of adult writers, as well as young writers (elementary through secondary aged). After my keynote, I did a breakout session with the kids that couldn’t help but make me smile! Along with their kids, many of the parents took part as well, and just to see the involvement was inspiring. By the end of the day, I’d made friends with people I’d never met, and had young writers planning to e-mail their work to me so I could critique it.

As a writer, there’s no greater compliment than for other writers to want your advice. To truly take that responsibility to heart can not only inspire future writers, it can also inspire the same generosity in others. Who wouldn’t want to be part of that?

I'm Thankful...

2007-11-23T08:59:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday night I spoke to the St. Louis Writers Guild at the Barnes & Noble in Ladue, and I'm thankful so many writers want to be inspired…

Friday, I drove to Springfield to receive an award as Professional of the Year from the LDA organization for my work with high school Kickapoo senior Henry Stratmann III. I'm thankful for generous people, and that I was honored in such a touching way.

Friday night and Saturday, I got to spend time with my mom and brother since they were going to be in San Antonio for my niece's wedding over Thanksgiving. I'm thankful the award took me through Lebanon to see them…

This week, I got a break from classes, from pressures, from the constant barrage of expectations…a big Thanksgiving dinner with my family reminded me exactly what this holiday is all about. It isn't a feeding frenzy, it isn't football overload, it isn't pecan pie… I'm thankful to men who've fought for our country, for soldiers who continue to keep us safe and free.

Saturday I have a booksigning at the Borders Bookstore in Lee's Summit. It's back to the grind, back to the highway, back to the world of 8 Days, Slipping, and Dregs… I'm thankful I have a reason for such demand, that I chased my dream and it came true…

I'm thankful for the time, the energy, the motivation, and the support network to live this dream, to pursue my PhD, to enjoy the rewards of it. Imagine living somewhere that not only didn't allow me the luxury of chasing such a dream…Imagine living somewhere that discouraged dreams altogether… I'm thankful I don't.

Conferences, Events, and Networking…oh, my!

2007-11-05T08:23:00.000-08:00

For the past few weeks, I've been doing different writerly things. Instead of the usual Borders signings or talking at schools, I've gone to a library signing with a group of other writers, and this past weekend, I attended the Columbia Chapter of the Missouri Writers' Guild conference (The Write Direction). It was the first conference I'd gone to in forever as a participant and not a presenter, and for once, I could relax, listen, take notes, and not be worrying about the session I would be giving later.

I got pumped about writing the screenplay for 8 Days. I was inspired to do more with my website, and when the day was done, I had 6 pages of notes of all the things I wanted to do. Of course, during a conference, I'm always prone to making To-Do lists (at the top is always Blog on Monday) but for the most part, I was engaged the entire time and felt inspired by the day. I wish published writers could get together more just for time to bounce ideas off one another and not feel pressured to sell, sign, and smile all day long!

Of course, I love the smiling and signing part…it's the selling that gets wearisome. But then again, it's better than the alternative, right? Yep, when I get tired after a weekend writing event, I have to stop and remind myself what life was like BB (Before Books). I might've had more time and not be forced to watch recordings of Mizzou or the Chiefs, but then again, I wasn't living my dream either.

You just gotta pinch yourself sometimes!

Cries for help...

2007-10-22T10:36:00.001-07:00

Cries For Help…

There's been a frenzy of school violence in the past few weeks. Bomb threats, weapons in middle schools, open threats written on school sidewalks. Yet aside from Virginia Tech coverage, while scouring national papers, the most recent prominent article in Time magazine was this heart-wrenching, though six-year old, article. The Boston Globe and USA Today are equally as old…

Boston Globe:
http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2007/01/04/a_new_chance_to_stop_teen_violence/

Time:
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,999473,00.html

USAToday:
http://www.usaweekend.com/00_issues/000416/000416teen.html

Why is it that something that is almost epidemic only gets media attention when there's blood spilled? They give these "threats" minimal attention, sending what message to troubled teens? The Virginia Tech shooting was covered on TV for over 30 hours…so the message is loud and clear, and the teacher in me cringes to know that they get a heck of a lot more than their "15 minutes" these days.
I'm a fan of the media, obviously as an author, I can't live without them. But by and large, it's a reactive industry. Yet with the power to reach millions, imagine what the media could do if they targeted a cause a month… The high-powered papers could combine forces and have outreach facilities join force. They could have hotlines, prevention tips, and information for parents on how to recognize the signs and possibly help kids who might become our next newspaper headline. Just imagine…
We could choose different topics every month: Drugs, gangs, gun-control. With the media's help, this could become an Oprah-sized solution to problems that are very likely going to be the undoing of our nation. It's hard to imagine that Corporate America wants kids to kill other kids, but with their vast resources, you have to wonder why no one sees the epidemic or has thought it's time to do something about it. Haven't we done the same thing with gangs and drugs? Now they're so commonplace, we don't even know where to start to diffuse these issues.
Teachers know the problem is too real, kids have known it for decades…it's time for the rest of the country to step to the plate and take a swing at one of the scariest trends in our nation's history. It isn't just about bullies anymore, because as much as we know about cliques, those who tease aren't just generating tears anymore. They're stirring hate in with a society filled with guns, anger, and a vast internet of people frothing at the mouth for violence. It took eight years for Columbine's numbers to be eclipsed by the Virginia Tech tragedy. Do you really think it will be eight years before another one tops the list?
There's an act of school violence every 2.3 seconds in this country… While you read this article, at least 10 schools fell victim to a gun brought to school, someone assaulting a classmate, or God forbid, severe injury or death. If that doesn't get the media's attention, I shudder to think what's coming next.

D.C. -- One Rung Higher

2007-10-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

When I became an author – a split second after signing my first book contract – I had visions of the New York Times Bestseller List, mile-long lines at my book releases, and Capote-like reverence from everyone around me. Instead, I learned the trek is long and climbing each rung that ultimately leads to the NY Bestseller List is a slow process. Those lines take years to form.

I saw it firsthand Saturday… I was an author invited to the National Book Festival in Washington D.C. I watched people walk around like Ken Burns, Joyce Carol Oates, David Baldacci, and the one I waited in line to meet: Jodi Picoult. Regular people who’ve topped that bestseller list, normal folks who put pen to paper and likewise leapt into that “famous” category. What I learned is that they’re just like me…hard-working authors appreciating their fans. Jodi Picoult couldn’t have been kinder. With literally hundreds of people in line, she smiled for pictures, signed multiple books, and seemed to know what every author should remember: without readers, authors end up with day jobs and old copies of their books gathering dust in warehouses.

Encountering 200,000 readers, fans, autograph-seekers – it puts the craft in perspective. I got my first hand cramp from signing my name so many times, it became illegible. What a feat to accomplish! It gives me new fuel for my speaking engagements, new topics I will now be able to cover. Fans of my YA book can get a glimpse of Dregs on a new teens site now, which is pretty cool.

The other aspect to visiting D.C. for the first time encompassed visits to the awe-inspiring Lincoln Memorial, the White House, and the most memorable for me: The Vietnam Memorial. With a perpetual lump in my throat, I absorbed our history, our reverence for those who serve our country, and it humbled me. I may write books, but there are people out there inspiring books to be written. The quote that “freedom isn’t free” has new meaning for me now. For every veteran or anyone currently serving our nation’s military, I salute you, and I thank you for the privilege to do so.

Perhaps there’s in book in me about that, waiting to be told.

Blinkers and Road Rage – A Direct Connection

2007-09-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

This week, I’ve had an epiphany…new cars don’t come with blinkers. They must be an option now, and cars falling under the luxury category clearly charge exorbitant fees for them. How else can you explain all the BMWs, Jaguars, Lexus’, even Porsches that don’t use signals when turning? And honestly, their SUVs are the worst. I’m thinking it could even be a malfunction. The driver is probably trying to signal, it just won’t work or the feature is not there….

This new phenomenon has led to raging cases of ADS (Angry Driver Syndrome for those of you not ‘in the know.’) Just yesterday, I followed a Lexus SUV for nearly two miles, and we turned six times…I did the signaling for both of us. I found myself, between expletives and banging my head on my dashboard, wondering if the rich moron in the Lexus thought it unnecessary, too much physical exertion, just entirely too exhausting to flip the damn little arm to let me and everyone else on the road know he was turning? (Note, I said “he”…) I have a message out there to every person who doesn’t use a signal: when I was in college, a classmate of mine was killed by an 18-wheeler because the guy driving the car with my fiend in it didn’t signal when he merged onto the highway. The lane was also an exit lane, so the trucker said he assumed the car was exiting. Apparently, when the Blazer, the car my friend was in, merged, the trucker didn’t have time to get out of the way… Both in the Blazer were killed, and a blinker could’ve saved their lives.

Not every turn requires a blinker, but it’s the habit that lets other drivers know what you’re doing, even if you don’t. New car manufacturers should be ashamed, getting rid of such features. I just can’t imagine that so many people in such nice cars could be that lazy, that stupid, that irresponsible that they’re just choosing not to use their blinkers.

I’m thinking of rear ending the next one who cuts me off without a blinker…I wonder if they wear their seatbelts?

Are You Ready For Some FOOTBALL?

2007-09-07T07:44:00.001-07:00

I’m a summer girl, but there are so many things to love about this time of year…U.S. Open tennis, breathable weather, beautiful trees, the possibility of the Cardinals in the playoffs (they’re working on it…), and FOOTBALL!

I'm an avid Chiefs fan, so I have plenty to worry about, but just the idea of football gets my heart pumping! I've become a regular viewer of the NFL Network, I often check in with ESPN just to see what's new, and sometimes I leave it there because it's better than most of the shows on. I got sick of Vick (what kind of man makes money off cruelty to dogs???), and I admit, I'm tired of the whole steroid hunt. Just legalize it and level the playing field already. No, it's not the perfect answer, but there really isn't one…and why should Barry Bonds reap the benefits while other guys play by the rules and can't compete? They're all damaging the heck out of their bodies anyway…and I know steroids are horrible for athletes, especially during the teenage years, but from what I know about sports, a huge percentage are doing worse things trying to get the same result.

Anyway, I digress…everything about this time of year rocks, and it isn't just football. Sports rule, I even have a burgeoning interest in NASCAR since Carl Edwards is from Columbia and went to the junior high where I taught. Cardinals, Mizzou Tigers, Andy Roddick and James Blake, Venus and Serena, Albert and Ankiel, Tiger, LJ, Tony G…it's enough to make your head spin, even if Americans can't seem to win the U.S. Open now that Pete and Andre are gone. Yes, Andy had his year, but this guy Roger is a giant shadow over everyone else!

It also means the beginning of the TV season. Thank god for my DVR…I don't watch much TV when the shows are actually on. I study early in the evening…but I admit, I'm addicted to several shows that I'm eagerly awaiting: CSI (HELP SARA!), Criminal Minds, American Band, Survivor, House, Jericho (I hope it's been saved!!), Without a Trace…see, there are so many…at least with DVR, I can skip the commercials. All except the Sonic ones, of course.

Yes, Fall is here and the sound of crashing helmets, whistles, and grunts just makes me reach for the remote. Maybe ESPN is showing a rerun of NFL Live…

Double-Speak

2007-08-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

Does it ever amaze you the people who speak out against gay marriage and have such an opinion about it end up getting caught in men’s restrooms in uncomfortable predicaments? Me thinks thou doth protest too much…

Republican Senator Larry Craig proves what is wrong with passing judgment and using a political platform for it. Even if the quest for equality is qualified with separate phraseology (civil unions instead of marriage), the point is to allow people who are different the rights that being an American entails. We need only glance over our past to see how long it takes to give equal rights…women and blacks aren’t the only ones who’ve had to fight for them, but they are among the most prominent.

Why can’t we accept everyone for their differences and just move on? Every time someone stands up and decries gays for wanting equality, the listeners should wonder why that person cares so much. God is forgiving, and He’s the only one with the right to judge. The rest of us need to live our own lives and subscribe to the 1-800-Let-ItGo mentality. Managing one life and living it right is enough work without trying to do it for everyone else.

Sick of Vick...

2007-08-16T09:43:00.001-07:00

I'd be okay if I never heard Michael Vick's name ever again...

I've waited a few weeks to blog about the situation with Michael Vick because frankly, the whole thing is hard for me to stomach. I'm not sure what disgusted me more…the idea that someone of Michael Vick's celebrity and status would be so blatantly stupid and cruel or that his colleagues went on camera and said, "What he does at his own house is his own business." Two NFL players stood on camera on ESPN and laughed about the situation…of course, this was in the very beginning, but how idiotic can grown men be?

I was told this was a cultural thing, that powerful men in the hip-hop and professional sports community have been fighting dogs forever, but does that make it right? Celebrities have been committing adultery, snorting cocaine, and spinning through the revolving doors of rehab forever too, but it doesn't validate that drinking, doing drugs, or sleeping around is socially acceptable.

For any human being to think that it is okay to subject an animal to the cruel arena of dog fighting -- and then to punish dogs when they don't perform well -- should be forced to a punishment akin to their crime. In some countries in Asia, they make the punishment fit the crime…i.e. if you steal, they cut off your hand. Michael Vick and his posse should be starved for a few days, trained to fight, and then put in a ring with other rabid idiots and forced to fight to the death. If Michael wins, he lives to fight another day. At least he would know why he's in there. People have been calling for this type of vindication for weeks now, but the truth is, there is no punishment that fits this crime. These poor dogs have no idea what a good life can be; they're oblivious of the luxuries most animals are afforded: a safe home, plenty of food, and the love and respect of his owner. The most apropos punishment would be for Vick to lose anyone and anything he's ever loved.

I regret watching the media footage that has since haunted me, but for those of us repulsed by cruelty to animals (and I can't fathom the mindset of those of you who aren't), I hope the courts and Roger Goodell see to it that Michael Vick never plays football again. He should never be any kind of role model for our youth (except to know what NOT to do), and at the very least, needs to spend some time in prison.

For animal lovers, his crime is unthinkable and unforgiveable. For human beings, it should be equally repulsive, because someone with that blatant disregard for life usually translates to similar thoughts and behaviors toward other people.

Hopefully, Vick's arrest will put a stop to dogfighting, or at least raise awareness. For one year, let's channel our contributions and make a collective effort to end this cruel and useless sport. True role models like Tiger Woods, Cal Ripken, Tony Gonzalez, LaDanian Tomlinson, and Andre Agassi embrace their fame and use it for charities, children's organizations, and fundraisers.

Take heed, famous athletes…these should be YOUR role models.

Archon & MySpace

2007-08-06T16:37:00.000-07:00

I'm back from a mega-conference in Collinsville, Illinois (Archon), and man, what a weekend! I got to meet some really phenomenal authors and chatted with the likes of Peter Beagle, Sharon Hambley, and Linnea Sinclair. I didn't get to chat with Laurell K. Hamilton this time, because she and I were never on any of the same panels. But all in all, it was a great success.

The glory of Archon isn't so much the networking as it is the appreciation for people who don't succumb to the parameters of social expectations. I love the attitude of attendees at sci-fi conferences who dress for the joy of showing off their dedication to a character or an era. If all of us dropped our guard more and lived for ourselves and not for the expectations of others, what a world it would be…

The main thing I learned from Archon was that I need to develop my MySpace page and not just my website (http://www.barrilbumgarner.com/). No matter how cool my website is, my MySpace page will reach a vast audience that I haven't tapped into…and I need a really cool background!!

So I'm going to take some time this week to do that…If anybody has pointers for me, I'm all ears!

When you visit my website, take a peek at all the new additions, then venture over to my MySpace page and give me some input.

Harry Potter & Sawyer Wade

2007-07-20T09:36:00.000-07:00

Two teenagers with a lot in common....

Everyone knows the first one. Good old Harry. I will be in line for Deathly Hallows, and I will start it tomorrow. I should re-read or re-listen to book 6, because I've entered those memory-sucking 40s. But I won't, because I'm too excited. Isn't it a great day and age when the entire world is united over the release of a book? As a former reading teacher, the very idea makes me want to stand up and holler! :-)

The second teenager is a new burgeoning author in Columbia, MO. Sawyer Wade is a fantasy writer who is 14 years old and has already written 2 novels and well underway into his 3rd. You heard me right...he wrote his first fantasy book as a 12 year old! He's innovative and a wizard at what he does.

Sawyer and I are doing some marketing training, and he is a quick study. If only every writer had such passion and started as young. I was thrilled to publish before 40!

So teenagers are my focal point today, and tomorrow it will be all about Harry...

And I'm sure I won't be the only one!

Frenetic Pace...

2007-07-18T08:22:00.000-07:00

A week out of the country rejuvenated me for the bump and grind of life back in the states.

I learn more about Americans every time I leave the states, the most important of which is that we're WAY TOO BUSY!!

Why do we go at such a frenetic pace when we know it's taxing our brains, our bodies, our families? I don't think there's an answer...no se, as they say in Puerto Vallarta. Life is sure simpler on the beach, away from phones, e-mail, and the daily pressures we put on ourselves.

I'm a hypocrite though, because as soon as I got home, I let the 572 e-mails overwhelm me, along with the packed two weeks I was facing: Literacy Academy all day Monday through Wednesday and also in Rolla on Friday, meetings all day Thursday, and then out of town in Rolla the following week before driving straight through to the Florida panhandle. *Whew* All the while, I need to be prepping for classes I teach at MU in the fall. Have I missed a deadline for the textbook? Did I answer that e-mail about the updates for the online class? Wasn't I supposed to write a short synopsis for my upcoming book (Playing the Line) for Vox Magazine?

AHHHHHHHH!

My next task...lobby for a bill for a 25th hour in a day or put a rush on that whole cloning thing...

What am I thinking?

2007-07-05T08:13:00.000-07:00

I've had a crazy busy week, and I constantly wonder why I'm so busy...during the summer! Sunday I met with a new young writer named Henry Stratmann III. He writes flash fiction, which is a new wave in short short stories. We decided that this could be a wonderful segue for teachers -- a resource book for units like inferring, predicting, connecting, etc. to use with his flash fiction.

It begs the question...what am I thinking? Something new? Do I have a clone I don't know about?

But the teacher in me knew what I was thinking -- Henry's teenaged enthusiasm, the educational opportunity it presented, and broadening my marketability...it's a win-win situation for both of us. And since deciding to do it, education guru Cris Tovani has agreed to write the foreword!! Wow!

So we're planninng a teacher resource book using flash fiction from Henry's Eye Has Not Seen and the upcoming Flash Fiction Fever.

And since I don't know what I'm thinking, if any of you have tips on cloning, I'm all ears...

chaos is normal, right?

2007-06-14T09:37:00.001-07:00

Yes, chaos must be normal, because it's central to my life. That's how everyone lives, right? One need only visit my website to see my schedule, the basic grind of my author life... http://www.barrilbumgarner.com/

And being an author is just one small part of me. I'm a PhD student, a participant in numerous groups, on the board of several organizations, and all-in-all, I'm continually swamped. So this is par for the course, Americans are just like everyone else, right?

Wrong...I'm doing some analysis of media violence and our culture, and it's absolutely astounding how differently we live than most other advanced nations. France, for instance, has negligible school crime compared to ours, plus they take daily siestas during the middle of the day...WHAT? For real?

Yes, they take time out right in the middle of the day to relax, spend time with family and friends, drink a glass of wine, and wouldn't you know it? They live longer than we do.

There is an act of school violence during school hours every 3 seconds in this country...and kids learn their aggression from us. If we want to stop it, we have to start now. The sad part is, who has time? Where do we start? How in the world can we change what kids watch and listen to?

The easy answer is: How will we know unless we try?

Optimistic and Charitable...

2007-05-23T18:40:00.001-07:00

Imagine the horror of losing a loved one, a child even. There’s nothing worse for a parent…for Linda Valencia, she lives with it every day. And her son Jesse didn’t just die, he met a murderous fate that’s inconceivable for many of us. The three years since have been tough, compounded by financial hardships only true trauma can induce.

When we whine about our problems, about how much work we have to do and all the petty things that we get mired in each day, remember to calibrate: whether your glass is half full or half empty, you have a glass.

Linda Valencia’s glass is shattered, the remnants scattered about from Columbia, Missouri to Kentucky.

Be grateful for your glass…cherish it, keep it precious, treat it well. You can always buy a new one, but the original gift is irrepacable.

The Rios Rollercoaster

2007-05-15T20:37:00.000-07:00

The past couple of weeks have seen the overturn of Steven Rios's verdict, the media chum the waters by speculating when the re-trial would be, and then prosecutors appeal the decision. On Monday, Attorney General Jay Nixon said he wanted a Missouri court to either re-hear Rios's case or send it to the Missouri Supreme Court.

In other words, let's get on with it... And no matter what happens, this will be the final chapter in a story that no author could create and be believed if she didn't have the press to prove it. If it were fiction, a publisher would toss it in the trash and say it was over-the-top.

The bizarre thing is that it isn't fiction, and the story has yet to hit its climax. By the time all is said and done, Columbia will be more torn apart than ever. And the living victims will be shoved back to Go to start the healing process over again, no matter the outcome.

Check it Out...

2007-05-08T22:18:00.000-07:00

Life is at a frantic pace right now, but I'm excited to be releasing a new book, having a book release party, and eager to spread the word about stopping school violence!

I've done literally a decade of research on school violence, so my fictionalized account reflects on that research and will hopefully be inspiring for those who read it!

If you're in Missouri during one of my Book Release Parties, I'd love to have you!

Columbia @ Otto's Corner on Friday, May 11th from 5:00-late. I'll read an excerpt ~6:00. Free appetizers, cash bar, great fun!

Lebanon, MO @ Longhorn Grill out at the Country Club on Friday, June 8th 6:00-11:00ish. I'll read a snip ~7:00...drinks and food all courtesy of Missouri Eagle, God love 'em.

If you want to read an excerpt of Dregs, visit my website at www.barrilbumgarner.com

Welcome!

2007-05-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Barri L. Bumgarner's new blog.